party on

I have been suffering from a rather nasty hangover today. I went to a fabulous and much need party last night. I say much needed, because sometimes I just need to let my hair down, have a good old dance, and drink just a little bit too much. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and had a good old drunken chats mainly with ladies I usually meet at the playgroup I run. They are all so cool and such good fun. It was lovely.

Having a hangover though, it does bring on the 'I am never going to drink ever again' feeling and all of those, goodness me, things are all a bit of a mess and I really need to haul my life together, get healthy and sort quite a few things out. I did manage to clean the bathroom and hoover everywhere, which was pretty good going considering how I felt. I spoke to a good friend about my accountancy plans and its bizarre, but quite a few people are saying what a good idea they think it is. I am surprised. I used to joke to everyone that I would end up marrying an accountant. Like it was a real joke, so far beyond what I was into that it would probably happen. Ha ha. And now here I am thinking that I might become one. Me. On purpose. I wish I could just pour my heart out into this blog you know. But I can't. My name is too attached to it. I feel so strange and alien to myself. It is like an adventure into the unknown. And instead of finding my wings of creativity and diving into that, as was so my intention and idea for myself. I am doing the very opposite of that. I am finding my feet of clay. My foundations. My earthing. I have always had the plan of earning more and working less. Perhaps this is the way I am going to be able to achieve it. Who knows. I don't want to be sucked into some sort of suburban value system and keep up with those damn Joneses. I want my freedom. I am not sure that choices I have made have lead me in the right direction. Recently I have seen friends lose everything but the most very important things. One of my best friends is being made redundant on Monday. Probably. There is a slim chance of some sort of job being found for her. But she is the breadwinner and they have this nice big house and the suburban middle class lifestyle. And they haven't really planned for this. Things can change. I don't know if I ought to be writing anything. I don't know what I am doing or why I am writing it. This blog is meant to be about getting things done and achieving my dreams. I want to find the magic in my life again. Magic please. Magic. I am going to post my mondo beyondo list for some inspiration again. I feel like there is going to be a period of a lot of hard work coming up. Of knuckling down and grafting. And yet the days drift by. I need to find a way of priotising and finding time for the important things.

At least I got to do dancing last night. Dancing is so so so good for my soul. Mixing my drinks, however.... oooh, feeling it in not a good way today!

And Halloween tomorrow. The darkness before the All Souls Day. I am seeking a rebirth. And a warding off of evil.