Appreciation

Sometimes appreciation is easier than others.  But this morning I have to say I am appreciative of being part of a group course, that is currently asking me to be actively appreciative and grateful.

Cos quite frankly before I sat down to read the stuff from this week's module, I was not feeling much appreciation!.  So here goes, because I damn well could do with feeling better!

I appreciate this little back room. The new spare bed I am currently lying on to write this is very comfy and I really appreciate this.  I love our newly painted hallway and the fact that we have plans for this house and they are good.

I appreciate and am grateful for Ted having his friend Jude over and they seem to be having such a good time.  I am grateful that they have this friendship.

I am grateful for good friends and family that love me and support me.  I am grateful for my full health and full wits.  I am grateful that my husband loves me.  I am grateful that is is warm and almost sunny today.  I am grateful that I am alive and can feel.

Friday Round Up

 

FRIDAY CHECK IN

• What were your intentions this week?

I think it was all about the office move.  

• What have you actually done this week?

I have started the process.  I emptied Hub's stuff from the bureau.  I have painted the bureau - am going to share some pictures of it because I am so pleased with the results! though am annoyed that I forgot to take before pictures of the ugly beast it was!) I have unloaded one box from the cupboard. 

I have cleaned out bins, taken stuff to the dump, sold the Tripp Trapp baby set (something mums of a 6 month old will know about!) given the car booster seat to a friend who will have nieces and nephews visiting. I have checked out the options for a possibly adjusted camping (inclement weather scenarios), cooked meals and taken kids to the park. I have become an affiliate for the Wildfire Women event in Brighton for September.  I am on the list to run a workshop at the next one - they were already at full roster for this one.  As an affiliate I get to go, as long as I share the event widely.  And that's cool because it looks rather awesome and I am really looking forward to seeing who I will meet there.  If you want to have a look at what it involves click here  & come via me   https://www.eventbrite.com/e/wildfire-women-2017-tickets-33894073085?aff=GeneralAffiliate&afu=116304237369 

I went to my Coaching Circle  - which is in effect a mastermind (hate that name!) we are a group of 4 business coaches based in Brighton, and we meet to chat about our work and support each other.  Its super good to have a peer group to chat with. Such top advice and input ladies, love you all.  

What else have I done?  I can't really remember.  Life stuff.  

• What have you learned?

I need stronger boundaries around my work time, or just 'my time' when its the holidays.  I love the coaching circle.  That I want to be an artist of instagram and sell my work.  That i need to be clearer and more definite and claim my desires clearly.  (I learned this on my weekly call in for the M2M360 group I am part of online (you might like to join me as part of this group too? have a look via the link and see if it is for you) Its an online master mind (sure there is a better word) with group coaching weekly.  Keeps me on track.  

So  - I want to be a successful artist.  I want my workshops and retreats to be full of the most amazing, energy filled, dynamic, creative souls.  So far this is who I have attracted and I LOVE that these are my people.  More please.  I want to run Creative Magic Living retreats in beautiful places and spaces.  I want to earn more  - so that I can create more, pay off my mortgage, buy out next door and run a boutique air bnb there, I want to do more coaching and be an international and well paid supercoach so that I can help more people be more creative and do their best work and live their best lives.  And I definitely want more holidays.  I want to go to Berlin, and Brussels and Goa.  (Shilpa, lets do this thing!)

• Did you do some S&P work? 

am going to count setting up my office here.  not much else.  OH - well, reinstating my 'miracle mornings' is sort of a system? right?  I have also booked in for a social media session in September, which will teach me buffer so that I can schedule my posts and be more visible without my constant checking in.  

• What one thing, when done will make you feel better about this week?  

writing this.  also am going to join an online programme for artists.  I am worth this investment and I am going to make it work!

• What can you do today that will set you up for a great week next week?

tidy up the house and sign up for the course.  

an oracle card from my deck

OK I decided to use an oracle card set that I made on a retreat in Glastonbury about 2 years ago. It was intuitively made and doesn't have the same set of characters. I got a card - which I hope to post here if my sync from phone to computer works! - so I need to interpret it myself. It has the words "hear" on it. And an intense looking eye in the top right hand corner. And a figure, which is kind of male and looks a bit like a monk. He is calm and patient. there is also a bright lights and red five pointed star in the bottom left hand corner. I take it that here, my guide is a calm patient spiritual person. Who can hear me. He is a listener and he sees with burning intensity from a slightly outside of himself perspective. The watcher takes no bullshit and there is no escape, but my guide is calm and unfazed. He is from Africa. There is my emblem of the star (my favourite shape) and this is lit with bright lights. So I feel safe and sparkly, even though the terrain is quite barren and unforgiving. He is a desert walker. Under the night sky and burning sun. He is quiet. He hears everything.

(sync bloody upside down - next time. posting imperfect)

I drew him calling for a guide for the next few months. I have no idea what this means right now. Listen carefully to the world around you. Be quiet and listen.

Alternatively on a page - which prompted me to use this deck in the first place. I went and read it properly and in it, it said to go to her page and put in birthday details and it generated a card for me, to be a guide for my stage of life. And that card was the sun. And it means all sorts of good things about shining and the world meeting me by shining back at me. I like it.

I not much used to Oracle cards. I am not sure what to do with it all. But I enjoyed looking at my desert sage character.

daily reflections etc

What is working.

Well the house is slowly sort of getting tidier.  I went to the dump today and the other day with stuff that really needed to go.  (especially today when we discovered that the bin men had not taken our rubbish because in there something had gotten maggot infested   - yes  -total YUCK!)

And I have a new kindle, which means I can access my books and start reading the book club book.

And I set it up really smoothly and easily.

What else.  I am learning patience as this summer holidays it seems that I am doing all the childcare for one reason or another.  It just doesn't seem to ever go away or be clear that I can have some time to myself.  But there we are.  Such is life and I am learning to let go of what I think is going to happen and roll with what IS happening.  I am hoping that  - for example - I can get on with some house painting next week when my bro comes to help out and do that sort of stuff.

This morning it was because of the bin situation with the maggots and all.  We just had to drop everything to deal with that revolting mess.  Bub was out at a stop frame animation workshop.  Which he really enjoyed.  That's cool too. WE sorted the mess and Bub had fun.  (I was very proud that he did the story line!)

I am feeling good and this morning I did some yoga and 5 minutes of meditation.  So that is a good start.  Keeping it simple.  Am also really enjoying reading A Key Person of Influence.  Taking me back to the start of things and helping me re  word and reposition my Big Why.  I still can't bloody micro niche properly though.  I think it might be something to do with Cool Old Ladies.  Though no one wants to particularly overtly associate with the OLD word.  But then there is my niche.  Old but won't associate with that word.  HA!

Women who defy convention to be their creative shining selves.  Something like that anyway.

Could do better. WEll - its going to have to be getting up early  - as I seem to have no peace for any length of time that I can control otherwise.  I did do some yoga this morning and I can do more tomorrow.  I can write in bed even with others up, but meditation is tricky as I can't predict when I will be interupted.

Big hugs to you all.

M

Full Moon Intentions

An instagram friend (and ex colleague, Yoga Teacher Erika Tourell) posted a beautiful full moon picture yesterday.  And since yesterday I had been percolating a little.  Slightly smarting from some comments made and also, just feeling a bit frustrated at the lack of GETTING STUFF DONE that has been happening (or NOT happening) in my life lately.  Percolating is fine.  But you know, sometimes you have to get up and make the coffee happen.  ANyways, her full moon post (can I link to it here?) talked of her dreams and change is coming ideas.  And others were all posting about the full moon and how it can takes stuff away with it.  I don't even know.  But it sparked some ideas.  And I just wrote.  Boldly and in dream language.  


 *** Buying out next door. Being more artist. Painting more. My book out in the world. Pure magical energy and connection between souls. Creative magic living. *** 

And this morning I awoke late and felt sluggish and full of sleep and all I wanted to do is do nothing.  And  - well, - that only gets you so far. And I was bored even of myself.  

It it is to be, its up to me

Today is a return to action and doing the stuff that my future self will thank me for. Stepping into being BOLD.  Sod the tentatvive apologetic just talking about stuff thang.  Today am on the case.  And if I fail am getting back up and on it.  Here we go.  Expansion, people.  Expansion.  


So today.  A long walk.  And getting those things off my to do list.   the damn office sort and tidying up the bedroom. yaaas.

Daily reflections. What is working. etc

Yesterday what worked, was journaling, sleeping and going dancing.

I went to Muriel and Badge's (of The Food Wire) leaving party at the Rose Hill Tavern.  It was a beautiful party at an awesome venue.  Firstly, not surprisingly the food was amazing.  Secondly the music was fantastic - made even better by the fact that the DJ's were Otis (aged 9) and Arlo (aged 7). And lastly, the venue - which is bohemian and relaxed and owned as a non profit venue by a bunch of artists who have bought it outright.  At least that is what I overheard the barman (volunteer) explaining to Patrick (The Picture Hanger and a business coaching client of mine).  I do believe it all needs more investigation on my part as I just want to organise some sort of event there myself.

Dancing is most definitely nourishment for the spirit.

Journalling works for me.

I went to see The Big Sick last night.  Bizarrely instead of laughing my socks off as I had expected I wept and wept my way through it.  I recall that i also wept through another Apatow film, Knocked Up.  Which I totally blamed on my hormones and being pregnant.  Maybe I am hormonal again at the moment? Never the less I wept and wept.  I am not even sure why.  It was so sad - not at the end, it was all OK at the end, but the relationships were so touching.

What am I like? I got home though and felt really sad.  And woke up this morning feeling despondent and weepy.  I think it is hormones.  Either way, I decided to journal about it all.  And to keep writing until I felt better.  Which I did.  Journalling does help.  I mean there are somethings that I can feel sad about.  But there is not much I can do about any of them.  And I don't normally weep about them.  So it felt good to just sit and write and write until I felt better.

In a way a lot of it was wanting to be listened to and heard.  Even if what I was going to ramble on about was nonsense.  I guess when you are feeling emotional, and or sad, that is what you want, really isn't it.  And I wasn't getting the ear I needed from Hub yesterday.  Mainly cos he wasn't feeling very well, and also because he always just tries to logical it out.  And I just wasn't in the mood for being told I was talking nonsesnse and there was no actual reason for me to be sad.  I didn't want that. That just made me feel more sad.  Which of course doesn't make "sense".  So.

Anyways, just to say, that I do now feel better, and bless his cottons, the Hub is being super sweet and lovely (even though he totally does not at all understand why I wept at the very funny film) I do feel loved.

So.  Journaling works for me.  That's what is working.
I aim to do very little today.  I think I just need the rest.  Motivation will come back.  I don't need to push for it.

Bestest Y'all.

A weekly update....

• What were your intentions this week?

I can't even remember my intentions.  I think it was to sort the office move.  Oh  - we can do that today.  right.  that's the plan then!!

• What have you actually done this week?

I have unpacked from camp, written a blog post about it (that's my previous post - have a look!) I have put my son's Tripp Trapp chair up for sale.  Yes they really do last for 9 years! I have made some lovely instagram posts.  Yesterday I cooked a lasagna.  I have done a coaching call, and done some admin - not much it feels like.  I  hum.  it feels all very holiday. Lots of time looking after bub and his friends, trips to the supermarket, cleaning and tidying. Small bob bits. 

• What have you learned?

Lasagne takes a bloody long time to cook.  I have learned to hold my own in the face of being challenged.  I was asked to "can you just...." and I said no.  I reckon I could have just said no better on reflection as I didn't strictly speaking just say No.  Hmm, interesting learning.  Never the less I was hurled a lot of bollocks and I did not absorb it as it was just bollocks.  I just knew that it wasn't about me.  And the things said were not true.   and I also didn't totally lose my rag.  Go me.  In fact I turned it into laughter.  YES!  What else have I learned. OH - that it really matters to me who comes along to my art classes and stuff. They are great people and that is part of it.  I am creating a community.  I also learned  - over the coaching I did at Dance Camp East, that I am good at what I do.  That there are (women) out there, who are yearning deeply to come on my retreats and be wildly creative.  And that they yearn to express themselves and they do not want to go to a village hall and do watercolours with a bunch of old ladies.  (PS this may be perfect for some people! not dissing that at all, its just a different thing - and their words not mine) I run an art class that reaches the parts that other classes do not.  Free of judgement.  And that its the community that also really matters for them as much as me. 

• What sales and marketing work did you do? 

I wrote some blog posts, shared my meet up group, communicated with some interested parties, posted some inspirational (*!*) quotes on instagram.  Just sharing about stuff that matters really shining it out there.  

• What one thing, when done will make you feel better about this week?  

that will be the office move.  I would like to get my head around the Croatia accounts too.  

• What can you do today that will set you up for a great week next week?

sort the office set up and clean the house thoroughly. even to "visitor ready!"

Dance Camp East - a collaborative experience

Hello! Its been a while, eh!?  So what's lately?  Well,  I have spent the last week or so in a field in Suffolk.  I really, really enjoyed myself.  Its a bit of an experience is Dance Camp East.  Its somehow not just about the camping or the field or the dancing or the community or the fires or any of that stuff.  Although it is about those things of course.  It is hard to describe.  I guess it is a sort of process or an unravelling that happens, as the week goes on.  Because you don't leave, you get to really know the people around your fire.  And you get to know yourself a little better too.  Because its all the time. Not just holiday.

OK, perhaps some of you have no idea about this and I am leaping into the whole  - transformation thing - before I have even given the basics.

Its camping, in a field, but its like a cross between camping and a festival.  Its a whole experience.  There is one big horsehoe shaped camp with a big area in the middle, and around it are 7 camps, each with a fire.  You choose your 'camp' and pitch your tent.  I went with a friend and her son, who gets on very well with Bub - for me this was kind of the reason I went.  So that Bub would have a playmate, and be able to run free and play for a week.  She has been coming to this camp, and others for years so I let her choose the circle we were to camp in.

The cooking is all done on the fire and is communal.  Not strictly, you can make your own food if you want, but the evening meal in particular is a communal affair.  There is always a kettle on for tea too.  You build a kitchen - there are tables and wood provided but apart from that  - its up to you.   Luckily other folk were able to pitch in  - someone had a bit of a marquee that made shelter, another fellow and his teenage daughter built shelving from rough planks of wood.  We set up a washing up station and a food prep area.  I got compelled to be quite involved in the whole layout - who knew!- I discovered the ergonomics of the layout really mattered to me!

The food, was generally amazing, everyone got involved and some amazing dishes were created and shared.  Porridge became a morning thing, with cinnamon and fruit of different kinds.  One evening there was vast amounts of sausages and mash, another someone managed to create a rhubarb and apple crumble - on a fire, in a pot.  Yes it was delicious and served with options of cream, creme fraiche, yoghurt or soya yoghurt.

As well as the camping, there are marquees (with a wooden dance floor), there is a wood fired sauna and hot tub, and a wood fired pizza oven you can use.  Many musicians go, so there is singing by the fire, a band that rehearses for the events - which range from a tea dance (you can learn to ballroom dance in workshops before hand) where folk dress up and serve tea and cakes  - to open mic night - to a cabaret where the various singing workshops also perform (if you want)  - to a silver ball (more dressing up, a lot of glitter and facepainting too).  There is a massage tent, a healing area, yoga every morning, various dance and movement workshops, chi gung, meditation, life drawing and crafts available.  You can join in as much or as little as you want to.

The weather was various.  One night there was an almighty storm with thunderous rain and and was afraid our old tent would collapse.  But it didn't.  I learned how to chop wood and how to make a kettle on a fire boil faster.   Oh and how to make a crumble!  At various points, it all felt a bit much, for various reasons, weather, parenting, new people..... but there was always someone to talk to.  And there is something about learning to face up to all the ways you want to avoid stuff, but instead getting through it and realising it all passes.  Even the weather!

A lot of the whole thing is run by volunteers and offerings. Its a self organised camp.  For my part I decided to offer some 121 coaching.  I coached 4 people, all of whom said they felt great benefit from it.  All sorts of different issues, that I don't normally have to coach on (as my focus is usually work and business related) which was a fantastic experience for me, and a honour as these people shared their stories and their hopes with me.  I really, really enjoyed it.  And got some great feedback too, which was a fabulous boost.  I described coaching as a bit like being a future counsellor.  Unlike counselling we do not look back and try to understand a problem, but we look forward and find solutions instead.  I like the idea of being a counsel for the future.  "I am very interested in the future, as I intend to spend the rest of my life there." That's a quote.  Attributed to Einstein.  Love him.

Anyway, all in all, it was a great experience.  I forgot about checking my phone (no signal anyway!) and realised that I had even forgotten what I looked like (no mirrors). Bub spent his days playing mainly with a wheelbarrow, or reading, or creating an illustrated book.  It was pretty cool and I really enjoyed myself.