on the eve of the new year

I am very excited by the new year.  It is currently 22.51.  Bub is asleep and Hub has gone out for a quick drink at the local.  I am.....drum roll please.... in my room.  IN MY SPACE.  Its my studio, my yoga room and my office.  I am so so happy.  Its been such a long time coming.  I think maybe a year and a half? I will find the post somewhere am sure.  But somewhere last year, around the time of post Flying Lessons.  And I decided that Bub's baby room would become my studio.  And it has honestly taken since then to get it sorted.  Its been piece meal and has involved quite a lot of furniture tetris and even some elementary building work. 

I just want to get it all down.  SO sorry if its a bit dull!!

Box room before

Box room before

The story of this space.

LAst year,  Bub was in a cot (too small for him) and in the box room.  And I had this vision that, if I moved him into the spare room (much better for a growing boy) I could commandeer the box room as my studio.  So much had to happen for this to come to be!

before

 

First:  Walking home one day I noticed a sign in a window saying "single bed free to anyone who can take it away" and I thought, Bub will need one soon and we went and got it.  It was a horrid colour but clean and with a mattress and could be painted. I got rid of the cot and Bub slept onto the single mattress (on the floor). I started to make the black out blind for the spare room as it only had cream curtains and I knew there was no way I could put Bub to bed in a summer light filled room.  (and it took about a year before I realised I just didn't really know how and so I paid someone to finish it) Then I had to get rid of the double bed in the spare room soon to be Bub's new, big boy room. Sold it via Gumtree.  And then we were left with the double mattress on the floor in Bub's New Room.  And then we bought a new chest of drawer for us and a sofa bed from friends (who were moving out to go live on a boat) and Bub got our old chest of drawers, and we had a new 'guest' bed in the form of the sofa bed. Finally - Bub moved into his new room.

spare room before shot

His old room promptly becomes a dump room for random things.  stasis for a while.

The single bed, in the attic needed painting.  SO there was the whole palava of buying paint and getting the damn thing down from the loft and painting it blue.  And THEN when we got rid of the double mattress, I realised that I would have no where to go if Hub snored (had been used to sneaking into the spare room, or later, in with Bub on the double mattress.....)  And decided that instead of the single bed, we needed to get bunk beds.  BUT on measuring the space realised that bunk beds did not fit along the wall - and neither of course would the single bed.  ARGH.

I managed to cancel the bunk bed order.  and again.  STUCK.

Finally we decided that we would make space for bunk beds by knocking down one of the built in wardrobes...... And then, when our builder postponed, I had this revelation;  the space between the wardrobes, would be enough for a small boy to sleep on and a small platform bed could be built.  Genius and much less disruptive than removing the wardrobe. I began to investgate getting a mattress made to fit, and one of the foam places I called, mentioned (bless em) that the children's Ikea mattresses were pretty cheap (yup £24 rather than the £80 it would cost to get a piece cut and covered) and it turns out that the space between the wardrobes is EXACTLY the size of an Ikea Junior mattress.  Bish bash bosh!  Builder chap is rebooked and told the change of plan.  We book Fearless Mike to go to Ikea for us and in a jiffy, Bub has a new bed.  Its brilliant!  And should fit him for a good few years.  There is toy storage underneath.

And on the same day,  builder chappie knocks up some shelving in the box room and Fearless Mike also brings us some Billy shelves from Ikea.

And today....... TODAY.......  I finally completed the long, long, long long awaited plan of moving ALL MY STUFF into the box room.  It is SO COOL.  Its not a big room.  But its mine and its got my stuff in it.  And I can get up and come and do my yoga practise in it (2nd morning running this morning.  Its going to be every day for the rest of my life this morning Yoga practice.....) and its got all the admin stuff, my scanner and my printer, my sewing stuff, all my study books (art and yoga) and my art materials and equipment.  All I need is a sqaure of oilcloth to cover the carpet for when I paint.  Hope it doesn't take me a year to get that together.

Photos soon.  I promise!

musings on today

I have to say am most excited by the expression ideaporn and how totally turned on (ideawise) I got about the talk of technology and humanity of virtual worlds spilling over into reality and technology's interpretation of that reality and how it all inter effects everything.  The way we are.  And how artists were interpreting that. by making real world pixellated sculptures or the finger paintings that mimic the finger marks we make to do something specific on an ipad.  Cool and interesting stuff. Also the whole talk and take on futurology v nostalgia and the oldification of stuff v the modernisation of stuff and the genuine hankering after the new, real and authentic creative stuff that comes at the forefront of now.  The blank page stuff.  the stuff that comes out of imagination and is creatively new, not some rehashing of the past in some hackneyed way.  On the journey (in virtual idea land) I discovered some music I like (apparently already old and on the way to being establishment fodder   - but seriously who cares if you like it) and finally up against Bill Drummond.  WHen I say up against him.  He is merely mentioned in a blog article. But I am astounded by how he features in my key interested and cultural things and has done since he was involved with Echo and the Bunnymen, and how he loved Iceland.  And the KLF (1987 What the F**K's going On) blew my mind, back in, er 1987.  I wonder if it is all coming full circle. Or about to spiral off again.  Who knows.  But its exciting to discover things you find truly fascinating.  Discussions and musings on very interesting, to me stuff.

Yesterday I had a long chat with my old friend M (with whom I loved Echo and the Bunnymen AND the KLF) and it was good to chat to an old friend who understands all sides of me. Many sides anyway.  We are going to collaborate on making 2012 a year in which we take the income up several notches and being valuable.  I have set my figure at £36,000.  Its not massive in terms of millionaires and so on.  But it would make me very very happy to hit that figure.  In a way, its a figure that would mean that I could look after our family.  If need be.  Not that I want to be the only one bringing in the bacon.  But for mine own sense of worth, the idea that I am capable of that, means something to me.

Of course I really currently have no real idea of how I can do it.  But that is my marker.  And lets just see.

A key component of this, is, getting uncomfortable.  OR feeling it.  Getting used to going outside the comfort zone.  It means change and change makes you feel weird.  It might feel wrong. In fact without feeling 'wrong' you aren't actually stretching or growing any.  So wish me luck and courage my friends!

Another key component is building my community.  I have enlisted M into my inner circle on this.  And I shall be documenting it here too.  Me being uncomfortable.  Hmm should be interesting reading huh.

I like it as, in my Yoga Teacher Training, my teacher told me that you know you are getting on in your practice, not by how bendy you are, or how good at Asana you are, but in how well you can sit in uncertainty.  Which fits the whole out of the comfort zone sort of life.

SO to kick start my anti comfort regime.  I got out of bed early.  I did my Yoga practice this morning.  I got an hour in before anyone else surfaced.  Am pretty chuffed with myself for that small effort.  

stretch might thus be my word of the year.  Stretch up and out and go beyond.   Stretch and Flourish.  Bring it!

enthralled: humanity and technology mash up.

Its quite a long talk.  But it just enthralls me.  I  am fascinated by the ways Humans and technology meet each other and how humanity acts through it.  And this is ALL about that.  And more.  Deeply fascinating stuff ladies and gentlemen.  Wow.

thinking about the year ahead

Its started already, this setting the tone for 2012 thing.  And though I am not yet set, and have not yet really done any work on the matter.  I have been thinking.  I had a word last year, very popular, this choosing a word is.  But I find it hard to choose just one word.  Last year I got Poetry.  And I would like to have it again really as its just such a good word with a lot of personal meaning to me.  Kind of about following your heart, or what makes poetic sense.  Its artistic, its gracedul, its got meaning and leads you in the direction that you ought to be going,  as far as I am concerned.

I do want this year to be BIG.  As in GOOD.  And I do sense that it is a year that I shall be taking off somewhat.  SPreading my wings, get going, do some flying.  So have been ruminating around the words to do with blossoming (too spring like) and Bloom `(which I like better as its more full)

how about Shine? or Fruit.  Fruit as in I want to start reaping the rewards this year.... But also thoughts on finding my centre and the rest will follow.  You know a more Yogic type of mission.  To do with being, and finding the silence and stuff like that.

And today I am all up for it being the year when I do GIVING.  Giving my all.  Being Present and Giving it some input.  Some WELLY.

But I am still thinking.  Still musing on it all.

Its still going to be POETIC.  And there will be GIVING.  And there will be learning to sit with uncertainty.  And YOGA as this is my 2nd year of my course.  It will be finals time before I know it.

So lots of Yoga.

OH and ah.  Still lots to think on.  But this is New Year stuff.  And in 2 sleeps it will be Christmas.  And there is still a fair amount of wrapping and decorating the Halls with Sprigs of Holly and all.

random kindness

A friend of mine just received and anonymous choclate filled Christmas hamper from a stranger, someone who is doing a marathon 366 days of Random Acts of Kindness. 

And another friend posted this rather charming clip.  Am going to try and find it and post it now, honest.

I know its not a new thing, but novelty doesn't make it wonderful.  The effect makes it wonderful.

Go forth my lovelies, and commit an act of random kindness.  Spread the love.  It is Christmas after all.

Making your own fun

Its not classified as work in our society.  I mean, it doesn't bring in money does it?  But home making is important and needs input, creativity, effort, planning, budgeting and all stuff that work needs if it is going to produce good results. 

I don't know why I am thinking of this today.  I guess I have just hosted 2 Christmas parties (very small ones) and really gotten into my Christmas merry making.  And I have, no, WE, as a family, have gotten so much out of it.

You know how sometimes a line in a book or a film can totally capture you, and you remember it long after you remember much anything else about the book or the film. 

In a film.  God I can't even remember the name of it.  Its about folk making a film somewhere in America, and SJP is in it as a fussy starlet.  David Mamet wrote it.... I THINK....

Well, one character is telling someone else about FUN.  She says, you have to MAKE your OWN FUN.  Otherwise, it's just entertainment. 

And it still rings around my head as being something so very very important about LIFE.  You just can't BUY love or happiness or friends or fun.  You have to make it, make friends, make love, make your own fun.  Its the only way.

There was really quite a lot of effort and work that went into making this Christmas, 'Christmassy'.  And the 2 teeny parties we had, cost money, was a lot of work doing a lot of cleaning and tidying, preparation and planning.  And the decorations and home made cards and home made mince pies took a while.  Especially with Bub helping.  But it was worth it.  Worth it more than the time and the effort and the money.  Because putting this sort of effort in, MAKES it FUN. 

Our home feels full of magic because of it.  And you just can't even put a price on that.

Christmas Crafting

Of note today

Of note today

Just been paid in cash.  woohoo

Just watched a documentary about Steve Jobs.  Billionaire Hippy.  I like that.   I mean,  I'd like to be a billionaire hippy.  Or even just a millionaire Hippy.  That'd do. 

And I like a bit of inspirational too, such as "your time is limited, don't waste it living someone else's life".  Or 'Focus and Simplicity is really hard but when you get it, you can move mountains" or even 'design is not what it looks like, its how it works'  yup all the Steve Jobs Think Different sort of stuff.  It all appeals to me.  Am totally sucked in to the whole Think Different philosophy.

At work, market research stuff, about bladder weakness, listening to all these women who were suffering from "stress incontinence"  i.e. when you cough or sneeze and so on, most of whom would rather wear pantyliners every day forever than do their pelvic floor exercises.........wake up call, ladies....1 in 4 get it at some point, especially after children.  Use it or lose it!   See here for some examples of what to do. (scuse me while I clench!)

Bub got his 'learning journey' report today.  I haven't seen him for 2 days.  This isn't a good thing, but I am very much looking forward to seeing him tomorrow.  He made fudge for Christmas presents with his daddy today and squashed cans for the recycling.  Preschool basically love him, but confess he can be extremely stubborn.  erm yes, we have noticed!!  Not throwing tantrums or what have you, just plain stubborn.

OK I need to get some sleep now.  Sleep is very very very important.  As is clenching.  Night Night!

its beginning to feel a lot like Christmas

Well, it kind of is.  Actually as the storm lashes away outside and I have several days graft ahead of me, its not quite there yet.  But it is creeping closer.  Every day another window (door?) on the advent calendar is opened..... So I know where we are.  Bub is very keen on knowing what number we are at.

One thing has been wonderful.  A couple of afternoons spent with my Bub making Christmas decorations. 

This year I made salt dough.  How easy was that!  Imaging all these years and I never every have.  Its easy, its surely cheap, and with microwave technology (I know, how modern....) it dries in a jiffy too.

I got the recipe here.  But essentially its just playdoh without the cream of tartar. Plain Flour, half as much salt, a tad of oil.  teeny bit of water.   Et voila.  I don't think its easily ruined.

We made star shapes and painted them all RED as in Pantone's colour of 2012.  Pantone say its Tangerine Tango.  But its just bright red to me.  Yummy.

I went to the supermarket and bought up ingredients for
Mince pies (I buy shop mincemeat and Jusroll.  It's quite enough effort to make em up and bake em I find)
Claire Smith's most delicious flap jacks EVAH
Mulled wine
chocolate truffles
and Sophie Dahl's peanut butter fudge. 

The only untested element of this is the fudge and Hub says he is up for the challenge.  He does like to learn new things.

The rest is either going to be consumed at one of 2 small child friendly minced pie and mulled wine early evening soirees, or going to be part of the BIG CHRISTMAS HAMPERS Hub and I have been putting together for the Parents over the last few years.

ouch

We just got our accounts back for 2011 and we had a nasty surprise.  These days, in the UK self employed folk have to pay their tax in advance.  Only, this new rule, because of me not working much as a new mum, and Hub's first tax  year being only little because he was only half self employed this has only just hit us.  Obviously its not so bad once it has started because when we get to our tax bill next year, we will have paid most of it.  But the first year it kicks in, suddenly you are paying your income tax twice.  OUCH.  I am still kind of reeling from the shock actually.  Its a little like having the rug, or should I say, cushion, pulled out from under you.  Luckily we do have some savings which means that we are not going to have to go into debt over it.  But seriously.  There goes our cushion.  All that work I have done to shore ourselves up, and have something to fall back on, oh, and you know, in case something happens, or if the mortgage rates should go up and all.....  And kind of really annoying is that this is for Hub's income tax, and it will be a lot of my savings that are going to cover it.  Ah, marriage. 

As I write I am realising that it is GOOD that we have those savings there.  But in January we will be back on austerity measures as we scramble our way back to even keel.   Hub, thank goodness, is upbeat, positive and determined.  I am so very glad he is.  I am feeling really rather like 1 step forward 2 steps back about it.  And also a bit scared.  Perhaps this is all a good thing.  A fire under us, so to speak to start the new year with a rocket under our tails.  At least my work is going well.  Am picking up a lot of assisting gigs and the aim from their side and mine is that I start delivering the Productivity training in February.  OR at the latest early March.  That will help. 

Hub says that we should just enjoy Christmas and kick in with vigour in the New Year.  Its true that neither of us are likely to get any work over the Christmas period.  Now I am wishing I put more effort into promoting my Portrait business!  Anyone want a Portrait done?? Lovely Christmas gifts!!

Ah.  writing does help you work  it out in your head doesn't it.  We are going to be OK.

On another note we have been visiting schools lately.  I have no idea why they have this go choose a school and then put you into some sort of lottery system where everyone chases too few places.  All the schools around us are meant to be good.  But I do now have my favourites.  I hope that Bub does at least get a place in one of the 3 we are going to put down as our choices. 

My brother is coming to stay tomorrow.  Uncle babysitter!! Hub and I are going to the People Who Do Christmas dinner, which excitingly is going to be held in the Granary at Hawthbush Farm and cooked by a couple of Chefs who trained at Claridges.  YUM.