Mid Christmas gluttony leads to

Here I am mid Christmas.  Oh Christmas day went really well, all in all, but oh my did I over indulge.  And so it is continuing, just in another location and with cold buffet suppers instead of hot roast lunches.... I am finding myself drifting to thoughts of New Year abstinence with a kind of longing!  This New Year, reinvigorated by this week long gorging...I am thinking of YOGA.  Yes, activity and mindfulness needs to come back into my life yes please and thank you! 

So, this New Year the resolutions are so far as follows

Go to a yoga class once a week
Make bread
Wear dresses and skirts more often
Make / wear aprons in fine and delightful fabrics
Plan Christmas better next year
completely illustrate a children's story
go to ART SCHOOL
get the kitchen sorted
promote my art work

yadda yadda I am starting to think on my wish list too.  Sadly I deleted last years wish list.  Tho I do have the Mondo Beyondo list instead, which was about May time....

still elving

Wee man Bub ran around like a looney until 8.30pm tonight.  Hence I am still up and still putting together the presents for tomorrow.  Currently scanning images to create a story board of Good King Gus for the wee Bub.

Drinking mulled wine though and feeling slightly festive!!

random ideas for the new year

Firstly, next Christmas I am going to be more organised.  Mainly I am going to realise that it does all indeed start in earnest on the Ist of December.  I shall be elving from the start.  I love wrapping up presents nicely and getting right into the whole thing.  And I am not enjoying the late night production line wrapping I have just done.... hmm.  Well, we will see... but that is my first aim for 2011.

I want to wear aprons every day.  That is an exaggeration already.  But I have been wearing a skirt for the last few days, and its been feeling really good.  And then today, all day I wore an apron.  And while it sounds a tad housewifey, firstly it does keep my clothes clean, and secondly, with good use of fabulous fabrics, it could actually be quite stylish.  Watch this space.


yes I am very happy with my two 2011 plans so far.  Elving and Aprons.

I want to get the floor done.... this may involve getting the whole downstairs done.... as in planning the new kitchen.... Its hard to do alone. I want to be able to chat in depth with friends who can think like this.  I need a designer chum to help me out.  Kitchen layout.  Its mad,  I mean how hard can it be? Its flummoxing me though.  Ah and the cash to sort it out.... see these are not interesting plans for 2011. 
Wearing aprons is so much more appealing. 

a crazed cleaning spree, a new rug and mince pies....

Who'd have thought that a crazy spree of cleaning could make you feel christmassy..... Last night i worked til midnight.  Cleaning, changing bedlinen, doing laundry, scrubbing, bleaching, polishing..... and I washed all the floors.... and then I sprayed a rose perfume about the place....and oooh the whole house looks lovely and marvellous.  I also bought a new rug in Habitat.  I did think on the way home with it that I had gotten carried away with the whole, 50% off thing and just bought something because it was cheap.  But I put it out last night and I really, really like it in our sitting room.  We have floorboards and especially in this weather, we did need a rug.....

As I cleaned like a loony, I sipped home made mulled wine and listened to a Sound Cloud.  This is a totally new thing to me, and definately needs further investigation but so far, I am listening to 'Random Influences' by Greg Wilson, which is like a 2 hour compliation of totally most excellent tunes.

  Latest tracks by Random Influences
I have just tried to embed it here. I hope it works.  I am just LOVING it.


And then this morning, I had my friend coming for mince pies and coffee, so Bub and I made mince pies.  SO sweet to see him, tucking the pastry around the mincemeat all carefully...... and it all is beginning to feel a lot like Christmas.

Some of the winter themed books (as recommended by Soulemama) are arriving in time, and I got a delivery of a divine little Brora cashmere jumper I bought for Bub on ebay.  And I am just NOT going into town.

Today me and Bub and his pal J are going to be making and decorating Christmas biscuits.  Its starting to feel that it is all possible in time as well.  Its not even snowy out there today.  Can't believe I am actively not wishing for a White Christmas!

Stars in Jars and Rabbits

I took Bub to the sweetest little kids show today.  It was called um, Rabbits and Stars in Jars and ladders..... or something like that.  It was just so so sweet and charming with a giant stuffed toy rabbit as the hero with his friend Spider and 5 young actors all telling the story and making the movements.  The set was just delightful, as were the improvised props.  I think I enjoyed it more than Bub! 

We tried to do a bit of shopping.  OMG it was kind of hideous and crowded and having a loaded up buggy is not at all helpful.  And the house just seems such a mess.  I am sure that it will all come together at the end of the day (thanks House of Dub) but it does feel that it is now UP TO ME as a mum to make Christmas happen.  I think it requires a tad more planning than I have done.  I still wish I could go 'home' to my mum's for Christmas.... And there, at least the work could be shared.....

My Hub is lovely, but he really can't be relied upon to help in any way other than by strict instructions, which is a job in itself isn't it, devising instructions.  He does absolutely shine in his ideas for presents for people though, which is good. And he is totally an utterly excited by the whole thing, which is good, as I fear I am kind of losing the thrills as the sorting out gets thrown into my corner.... I think  I just want to be a child again at Christmas and not to have to worry about clean bedlinen, clean houses, meal planning and grocery shopping...wrapping all the gifts and sending all the cards and all that Christmas entails...

As I said, next year better planning, better delegation too. 

work gets in the way....

due to Bad Weather, I have worked in the gallery 3 days in a row.  I have to say, that from this experience I think I would go MAD if I had to work there day in day out.  It was even fairly busy, especially today.  I just start to feel a bit bonkers from staring at the same walls and same bit of street.  And when there is nothing happening pretty much for an hour or something, bar maybe one or two folk coming in....I actually had a headache from the not very muchness of it by the time  I left this evening.  Anyway, luckily it is now raining here in Brighton and I have 2 days off before I go in again on Christmas Eve. 

It seems that Christmas has crept up on me (again) this year.... we haven't done cards..... there feels like there is SO MUCH to do and no time to do it in.  I haven't had time to go around the shops to do any sort of Christmas shopping..  This could be seen as  A GOOD THING.  As it has probably saved quite a lot of money. But its also quite a nice thing to do.  And you know, without a buggy to push around.  I could have had a lovely time.  I really ought to crack on with mince pies this evening.... but I am not going to.  I might see if I can make a hot water bottle cover for my mum.  We are going the make stuff for a hamper of presents this year.  I am meant to be drawing illustrations for a book - I was in fact going to be doing 3 different books for my folks, Hub's folks and his other son.  As it is there is one story, which Bub has 'written' (dictated).  I still have to do that too.  I could do with my Xmas pressie of Photoshop Elements already!  The story is quite genius and involves 5 monsters stealing The Contstant Service (the pub at the end of the road) and a car chase, and snowball throwing....

I could crack on with that too......  

Hub seems slightly stressed by the too much to do and too little time.  To be honest, I think I am getting a small kick out of it. I kind of like the idea of wrapping frantically at midnight on Xmas eve.... Maybe I just like the idea of it.  Ah, I could crack on with the wrapping too......

LIke I said... so much to be getting on with...

journalling my dreams

A while ago I did this ecourse with Amelia Crichtlow from 101 Birdtales.... I love her blog, and both her e courses as it happens.... I didn't manage to actually do much art in the Experimental Art Course as life got in the way, but I am very glad to say that I have actually managed to do some of the Dream Journal pages from ther Journal your Dreams e course.... I am really pleased with the results...  so here they are.  I have more to do, but to have actually finished something... it makes me feel good.

how we spend our days....

Is how we spend our lives....

And today was a good day.  First off I went to Likemind which I just LOVE for how it keeps me in touch with diverse and interesting folk of Brighton.  As always I came away with something new to think about....  And I met a lovely illustrator, Anglea McKay, whose work I have seen and admired - and when she was describing what she did, I knew it! She is a line drawer too... I love her work. 

And  friend of mine's husband came along - I had recommended it to her, and she had recommended it to him.  And funnily enough, their house was where I was heading straight away after Likemind. 

I had a lovely coffee and stollen and mince pies (E was planning on making her own mincemeat, and apparently it mainly consists of dried fruit, brandy and suet and is cooked and cooled - )

Bub played happily with her son and we ended up staying for lunch.  Then I raced Bub round to M's house where I left him for the afternoon.  (We do a swap thing and her son J comes to our house for a few hours).  So I had all afternoon to create!  WHOO HOOOOO.

I had done a portrait of E's 2 children, and I needed to do a couple more in different mediums - well, I like to offer more than one to choose from.... And its good practise for me.

Yesterday, I raved about K's portraiture.  And I wrote her an email to say how much I liked her work.  She wrote back - and told me that practise is the way to go, the more portraits she does, the better she gets at it.  I enjoyed my practise today.  And after a chat with Angela about how lovely it is to do line drawings, I felt renewed joy in my work.  I will post up the examples in a bit.... promise! 

And I finally had some time to work on my Journal Your Dreams pages.....  pictures soon too  - more promises!

M

now this is what I want to be doing....

I do enjoy drawing in the classical way that I do.... but in my heart I hanker after doing something a little more uniquely MOI...  (yes I am that pretentious!  ha ha !) Today I found THIS...... a brilliant website by the portrait artist Kim Scafuro

And its SO the kind of thing I want to aim for..... I do need to develop what i do and find my particular groove.  But I want it to be something along these lines.  Not copied.  Not imitative.  But slightly kooky and unique and from my heart.  INSPIRED

christmassssssy

its nearly ten pm and I have just finished making mince pies for the last playgroup before Christmas.  My baking skills are not great, but hell they taste better than mister kiplings!  I do love a home made mince pie.....  I am getting more into the whole Christmas thingy.  Making mince pies always makes me feel like that.  Its like a ritual to start the Christmas feeling.  Hub wants to send bought cards, but I reckon I have tomorrow afternoon to fabricate a few..... I can't see that they will be unique to any other year, but again.... a home made card.... rocks my boat.  Perhaps some people don't appreciate them, but those who do, I am glad to delight.  Now I just need to stop eating those made mince pies (they are just such delicious little morsels of Christmas.....yum!)

well happy Christmas magic to you all....

oops online shopping

I have just managed to put away the most enormous online grocery shop ever.  I think I went a bit mad.  I don't reckon we will be needing to buy loo roll or bin bags for the next 6 months.  At least I hope not!  I have to say that our cupboards were pretty bare and it is Christmas coming so there were things I bought that I wouldn't normally.....

Things are going pretty well in our house at the moment.  I am busy and bringing in some money which I love, as well the fact that I am totally avoiding getting a 'job'. Nothing I do feels like work as such.  I don't have to get up and put on some hideous work outfit or commute at too early o clock to far away along with lots and lots of other folk.  I am indeed lucky. 

I did some facepainting at the weekend and it reminded me just how much I love doing it.  I did this brilliant course with a professional face painter called Nam Nam and she taught me some pretty cool techniques and, I think most importantly, she taught me to use glitter.  It just gives any old face a magical glimmer!  My plan is, to get some cards made up (using my Photoshop Elements, that I am getting for Christmas) and, in the summer, go to Hove where all the yummy mummies live, and do free face painting in the park and give my cards away to advertise how good I am at it.  I think that weekend facepainter would be an ace part time job to have.

In the mean time I am recruiting for Hub and so far its going well.  Its always slightly nerve wracking  - firstly finding all the folk who fit the bill, then making sure that they can come and will turn up, and then making sure the venue is free and suitable..... its not that its hard, its just I am generally doing other things at the same time so concentration time is low.  And then just hoping that they are not nutters or won't talk or don't understand and actually the wrong kind of person etc etc.... I always breathe a sigh of relief afterwards  - at least I do when it has gone well!  But its about £500 worth of work I am doing..... and another half day in the gallery this Wednesday and hopefully E will like the drawing I did of O and H on Friday.  Am rather behind on Christmas however!  At least we have the tree up now..... it looks so lovely in the sitting room.  And its the last playgroup before Christmas tomorrow - already!  I can't believe how time has flown this year.

I took Bub along to the nursery he is going to today.  It was just a taster session.  He seemed to love it, and it was quite hard to get him to leave.  Hopefully he will love it there.  Its a nice small one, I like it.  I met another one of the mum's there and she seemed really nice.  And one of the nursery workers seemed to really take a big shine to Bub (always a winner for me!) plus she raved about how fabulous the local school is.  Its good to know.

its late, I went out, I came back

I am eating thai noodle soup.  its actually medicine as I see it.  chicken stock, noodles, some veg, fish sauce, lots of ginger, lots of garlic, some chilli oil, some coconut milk....  I feel a bit crap to be honest, not miserable crap.  I feel just dog tired.  its been a long week and I have been out too much, working too much and child caring too much.  I did manage to get out for the girls night out.  only 4 of us made it.  but despite the expresso before I left and the 2 barcadi and cokes (not my normal tipple!) I just flagged and came limping home with a sore throat and glands feeling, well, there. you know.

I do feel much better for the soup.  And I am about to hot bath it and to bed to sleep.  for I have more work tomorrow...

Recruiting is finally going well and I am pleased with that.  I face painted all afternoon and I LOVED it.  almost to revelation levels.

Got to go now.  dog dog dog tired

oh and I read this its good


http://amyoscar.com/reverb10-challenge/unique-you/

off the cuff

Hmm- s that the right phrase.  What I mean is that I don't write a blog that is thought out much.  I kind of just get up here and write.  I read Kat's brilliant idea about thinking about the things that worked for me in 2010 in prep for thinking about what's next in 2011.  Its a good idea right.  I thought, for a bit, oh, I must go and think about this carefully and then write..... nah.  Just going to think off the top of my head here, right now.  Best bits of 2010....

Well Ibiza rocked for sure.   I loved going on holiday and swimming in the sea with my Bub.  And having a wee taste of dancing at Carl Cox at Sands on the Beach, bringing back some memories of proper dancing til dawn..... I loved it all.

I tried e courses and I loved em.  Mondo Beyondo, Flying Lessons (yup I will be getting the links up, but its late so bear with that)  And Experimental Art with Amelia. And through this courses, making new online connections and friendships.

I started a children's portrait business inspired by Linda Mason. And I have done an exhibition and hope to do some illustration work and I really really know that I want a studio and to go to Art School.

I love my playgroup.  I guess I particularly love being social and being a  host.  I like that I get to set the atmosphere, and whether it is really me or its the fantastic folk who come along to my playgroup, I am proud when people tell me that they love how friendly and welcoming it is.  I like to think that it has something to do with the way I present it.

we rock the pants of motherhood

THe Night of Splendour produced by Mothers Uncovered at the Nightingale Theatre last night, was just a brilliant night out.  I got lots of positive comments about my drawings - no commissions (yet?) but hey - I did get interest from someone who thought I might be interested in illustrating her children's book she has written.  Could  be very interesting, non?

The even was a celebration of motherhood via creativity.  Is that right? It was funny, touching, warm and just so brilliant and fab to have 'motherhood' presented back to you in artistic and creative ways, poetry,  story reading, performance and song.  At the end, the last act, 2 singers called yomama memama (I think?) got all the audience on stage and taught us some harmonies and we sang! A fairly ridiculous song called We Rock the Pants of Motherhood (yeah!) but it was just so fun.  I met some brilliant ladies and had a good chat, and drank wine and ate nibbles.  I love live performance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eI_U_biNoYs

later that day.....

Its gone.  That FUNK. It wasn't a good funk.  Anyway.  Its gone.  A combination of positive thinking, distraction by having a purposeful activity to do (yup, work does have some very good outcomes, not just cash) and a bit of a vent / let it all out to my friend.  As I spoke it was at once, real and painful but also it lessened and became less pressing and less important.  And by the time I got home it had gone.  I have an extremely busy day tomorrow.  Playgroup (an early start for us!  we are getting used to Bub's little lie ins and a general lolling about drinking tea in bed these days!) followed by lunch with a couple of mummy friends down at Pizza Express (yes we are taking the Bub's with us, why else would us mum's choose PE as an outing location) and then its French class for Bub.  And then race home, collect art work and race out to the Nightingale Theatre where there is a show on - produced my Mothers Uncovered and which has quite a few friends involved as actors and recitalists and poets too I believe.  I am exhibiting some of my portraits - I am guessing in the foyer area, but I have no idea what the set up is until I get there.  Annoyingly my new Moo mini cards have not arrived yet.  Fingers crossed they get here tomorrow.  

grrr three days running

Ho hum. its day 3 of my FUNK and I am not doing well at kicking it.  Ouch it must be a deep one.  SO. still following the delightful 100 things to do when you're sad (Oh dear am wondering if I am some sort of manic depressive - see worrying.... stop it!) I am going to think about some simple practical steps to make the situation better.

1. stop worrying.  everything will work out fine and the universe is on my side.
2.  Think of things that I love, and am grateful for..... such as Bub - he is healthy, how lucky is that! He gets a cold every so often, but seriously the boy has healthy genes.  Brighton is a great little town and I am making some really lovely friends here. The interest rates are low at the moment which means that we are OK with our mortgage interest payments. hmm, what else is good that I am grateful for.  I have a whizzy lovely computer.  I am lucky to have kept my old mobile which means I don't have to buy a new one.  My friend gave me a charger so I have 2 now (that I bought one on ebay yesterday too)  I have very strong legs.  I can cook.  We have a roof over our heads and food in the cupboard.  Bub has gone around to his friends this afternoon.  I am so glad that M and I have this swap arrangement.  Its great to have the time.  My husband loves me (even though I am miss grump at the moment) and he isn't about to leave me in the lurch.  He is trying to improve his diet and has cut out sweets and bread.  I have  apart time job in a gallery until Christmas.  I have some recruitment work to do which is worth about £500. 

Kicking Sundays

I took Bub to Lewes on Sunday and we went to Bills and ate glorious food.  I also had a most delicious bloody mary. I have for the most part kicked the resentment out.  But it does still lurk around.  I wish things were different.  But they are not.  But I wish it.  See.  Lurking.  It is not anything I can do anything about.  Apart from, say, change how much I care.  Or really, its a case of trying to kick the bad feelings out in as quick a time as possible.  The big treat nosh up at Bills (oh I LOVE that place) did help a lot.   Thing is, being as how I tend to be, one bad thing can lead to a whole host of bad thoughts,  and I then tend to wallow around in hideous self pity.  Hey, at least I recognise it! 

some affirmations....

I am making progress with my art ambitionsI feel inspired by other artists.
I am very together and focused  and going places
My dreams are within reach
I  love my husband
my family are easy to like. I am  likeable
I am rich
our house is good order and tidy and lovely
Hub is slim and fit and takes excersise and does not get type  2 diabetes
I am in control of my own destiny

grrr.  KICK!!

ah, speaking of goals and stuff Team Next Step or Moving Forward.  Damn what was that name?  Anyway, its still happening and pretty impressively achieved despite the Snow Day.

This week I have got my business cards in my hand (and handed out to folk - at least 10)
I have printed out my work and get 10 laminates done for the show on Wednesday
I have finished the painting in the sitting room
I have finished a final to show E version of H and O
I have recruited at least 4 people to Hub's focus group (50 - 60 yr olds, young at heart, outgoing, articulate, online shoppers..... in Brighton....  know anyone suitable? let me know!) 

That is my side of the bargain of Moving it Forward.  Hub has his own list.  Last time I felt like this (it comes in cycles evidently) I started a right GIVE UP SUGAR for a week.  I don't know what ever it is that means I stop obsessing about things that upset me, that I can do nothing about.... that is the thing.  SO OK  Magic.  I want help from the Universe and I want a boost and I will give up Sugar.   

things I love sunday

It was a crap day yesterday.  like some sort of hangover from the glorious good times of the snow.  all was so delightfully well in my world then BANG.  Back to square one and the age old bug bear of my current life.  No details this time, chaps.  And you know, I don't want to write a moany old post trying to justify my position and feel right about things.  Its not a case of that.  The case is I feel crap about something very dear to my heart and there is nothing I can do about it, apart from not care quite so much.  That would help.... but I find that too hard.  SO INSTEAD I found this post
100 things to do to kick a bad day into the distance

Thank you Gala, Darling.  And firstly.  Right now.  I am going to list the things I love. RIght now.

I love my gorgeous son - more and more each day and more than anything
I love snow days - whoop it was fun
I love our wee little house
I love my family
I love musicals, especially ones I know the words to, so that I can sing along, badly or loudly or however when I do the hoovering
I love the little Christmas tree sitting outside,
I love getting a cup of tea in bed

a random todo list

do an online grocery shop for all those things which we have run out of
finish G's laundry bag
get ready for the Dec 8th show where my work will be on display
do another drawing of H and O
get the wall painted by SUn pm
list something on ebay

there.  that should keep me going for a bit.  I worked in the gallery today.  It was very quiet.  I actually got rather bored.  I hope its busier the next time I work there. Its all very well thinking, oh great I can read my book, but time went really really slowly and I felt a bit woozy headed and odd from doing so much nothing!  Hub and Bub came in to see me.  What a total joy it was to see them!  You know I can't quite get over how much I love my son.  I almost love all children because of him.  Seeing the little people trot past with their parents, all togged up in snow gear, my heart melted.  And then my smiling precious boy walks in. So happy to see me.  What  a total and utter JOY that is.

snow is amazing

Today; no one went to work, there were no cars, people roamed freely with smiles on their faces, pulling sledges of smiling children behind them, grown men and women wandered around in groups, covered in snowball debris and laughing, half of playgroup were in the pub before lunchtime (drinking coffee) and at 4pm (drinking wine and beer), the pub was filled with raucous children running and playing through the sea of legs,  friendships with neighbours were cemented,  here and there folk were armed with spades, clearing the pavements for the whole street for no reason other than to be helpful.  And right at the end of it, my thought was lost iphone was found and we watched an awesome documentary about Bill Hicks. What a ride. It was a really good day.

and for those who didn't get to it before youtube hauled it for its nudity.....


Matt Whistler's Merry Christmas 2010 Southover Street Brighton from Convict Films on Vimeo.

snow just does things to people.  I love where I live!  Rock on Hanover, Brighton!

MORE snow!!!

Its a total snow day here.  It feel like a good 8 inches of snow fell last night.  Its so snowy that I am not even standing in for the gallery owner and working in town while she is stuck in the country, because we are all snowed in.  Hub and Bub and I went down the hill (so silent, no cars!) to the local pub  / coffee bar and hung out with half the playgroup this morning.  It was great.  But check this You Tube clip to see what some folk were getting up to in our neighbourhood last night.  It does contain nudity, so don't watch it if naked men are too much for you!

snow.... and work

The snow has finally hit the south.  Its not that heavy in Brighton proper, but the surroundings are deeply hit. And as such the Gallery owner is snowed in and I have some extra shifts at the Blue Dog Gallery.   So since last tuesday, apart from the weekend I have been working fulltime!  everyday!   The one thing that is a bit of an annoyance is that tomorrow was going to be a day for me to do my work.  As in the portrait commission I have to do and - admin I have to do.  And I was going to be able to work on my dreams journal.  But it is good to be earning money in such a nice way.  

The whole project Next Step is working really well.  The Next Step with that is to do a Goals and Dreams list for the year, so that we can bear this in mind while taking mini steps each week.

I am keeping remembering and reminding myself that MAGIC EXISTS and that The Universe is ON MY SIDE.  Its a good thought.  One thing that is not on my overt wish list, but which is coming true, is the way Hub is getting really involved with our life here in BRighton.  I guess it was a lot to do with the commuting that was taking up all of his time.  But he has come along to all the birthday parties that Bub's friends are having.  And talked with lots of the people there.  And basically just gotten stuck in; helping cook the pizzas, talking to the other dads etc.  He even ran my playgroup when I was working last week.  Chatting to the mums and making tea, washing up and all.  This might sound ridiculous that he wasn't, but it IS my dream that he IS doing it.  I just LOVE him for it.  He used to shy away from it on various grounds.  I am loving his involvement. LOVING it.