I want to live in a world where...

there are lots of magical adventures
magic exists
creative folk have time and space to unfold and be their true beautiful selves
people enjoy themselves and make the most of their lives
where being old is cool
there is connection between human souls
people share and help each other
people cook and eat together
people create together

Monday Morning Last Day of September

I am holding out for a miracle, but so far if I manage to earn £5000 this month.  It will be a miracle.  Ah well.  It was worth a punt. 

And yet, there still might be a miracle sometime later today. Am always open to miracles.

I did a yoga day yesterday.  I  was lying in Savasana,  and I thought of the words Starry Starry Night.

I like them.  It may be the name of my shop. 

And I saw Lucy re her jewellery and I will be taking some of it, specially commissioned, to Call of the Wild Soul in Petaluma CA. 

I have yet to sew my scarves and create my own jewellery line.  But I have this week.

I am signing up to sell Neals Yard Stuff.  As, I love it, and its about hosting and gathering people together.  I think I will enjoy it.  And I want to learn how to sell without selling my soul. 

Also, I had a chat with Leonie about the TV show Fabulous Fashionistas.  And she is totally excited about the idea of the blog for How to Be a Cool Old Lady.  Only I had another better name to call it.  And Leonie liked it better.  So currently the working title is

"I'll Have What She's Having"  and its about style, happiness and reclaiming aging as a good thing, a time to have the best time of your life, and wise cool women. 

yes.  I like it. 

By the way, Lucy's jewellery which is really beautiful by the way,  has words in it.   In little tiny glass bottles, as well as other things like peacock feathers and matchsticks.... I have suggested

wild.  wild soul.  free.  yes. 

what other words would you wear?  OH  magic.  magic HAS to be in there....

Secret Salad Society.

It was brilliant. let me say.  I SO enjoyed the whole thing AGAIN.  I LOVE Secret Salad Society.

It was a feast of abundance.

God I am starting to loathe those noisy students next door.  They are in a band. For goodness sake.  And they think their house is a recording studio.  And they aren't even any good.

I need to go to bed, because I feel a bit peaky as I drank too much wine last night.

I need to sort out quite a lot of things actually.  But YOGA DAY tomorrow.  And then Monday.  That is a sort it all out sort of day.

I was going to write something about the sort it out stuff.  But I think its probably more important that I go to bed.

time and space

SO this morning I have mainly been musing on the idea of TIME and SPACE.  It started with thinking about what to put on my yoga flyer.  And Hub chipped in, with a whole new spin, which was something we had been discussing at another point.  That I need to combine all that I offer into some sort of wellness/  sort your life out / declutter / learn yoga and meditation / creativity thing.

And then I got slightly obsessed with the idea of TIME and SPACE.  which is what you get when you sort your life out, declutter, do yoga.

Some people might then want to make art.  Or cook.  Or spend more time with their family.

Whatever.

So I created a new flyer.  Its certainly not perfect.  In fact, following the very good advice from Charlie and Matt.

Its made fast and ugly.  But I need to anchor it before it floats away.  Am shrinking it down to these two words.

brewing up some interesting ideas

Rather excited by an idea that wasn't mine, but rings true with some nubs of ideas that have been floating around the back of my brain for a while.  Doing it with a lady I met here in blogland.  Not sure how it will all pan out.  But its a damn fine idea.  Creative with Money.  Not even my own name idea that one.  But hmm, that's a damn fine name for it. 

Somehow its about time, something kicked into reality.  There are these other ideas to do with somehow creating a coop business to buy the debt on my folks house and run a business which is profitable enough to support them and us in the cooperative.  Which maybe me and my brother.  I don't even know.  I WISH i had £100, 000.00.  RIGHT NOW.  But I don't.  Ha, not unless I sell the house I am living in.  AND even then.... I don't think it would rack up that much.   SO I am going to have to figure out a way to find it.  Borrow, loan, some sort of crazy financial deal that makes it all work.  Its got to be possible right.  And its such an amazing place that so much could be done.... I dunno, retreats, wildschools, concerts, camps..... what?! how?!  THere has to be a way. 

HOW HOW HOW.  ideas welcome.  see this board for inspiration

http://www.pinterest.com/moyra_scott/annesley-love/

OMG I am going to CALIFORNIA

I just bought the ticket.  I feel strangely calm.  NO I DON"T.  I don't quite believe I just did that.  OK man.  I did it.  I bought the damn ticket.  I am going.  I am a crazy lady.  I sure as hell need to bring in some money now!! ha ha! Maniacal Laugh!! ha ha!

F**ck it. Let me be TEN again. just for a little while

Not because I want to regress.  But because I am revisiting MOndo Beyondo.  I just realised its a bit difficult creating a life of your dreams if you forget what they are.  And indeed how far you have come anyway. 

I started this blog when my son was a baby and I had no job.  And no idea about what it was I was going to do.  I had some mummy friends (who I still love and will be out drinking wine and laughing with tomorrow) but no real tribe, that is, no one who knew I was a dreamer, an artist, a yogi, a person who gets stuff done. 

And now I am a 'principle collaborator' at People Who DO, I have delivered workshops to executives, art workshops to paying punters, I host community sales of kids stuff for charity, I host Likemind, I am on the staff at The Wild School, I have been on several art retreats, I have painted and collaged with Flora Bowley, Teesha Moore and Orly Avineri.  I have been to Ibiza and France a few times.  I am a Yoga teacher, fully qualified with a 500 hour certificate and all.  I have switched our savings into a more ethical savings account (triodos) and our day to day banking to the coop.  I have my own office/  studio in the house.  Bub's room is redecorated, he has his own built in bed and there is a guest bed in there, we have a sofa bed for guests, there is no damp in the living room wall... the washing machine is in an annex to the bath room.  we have a cupboard up in there.... we have a big rug in the sitting room and bub has a rug in his room..... these were all goals.  We have reduced our rubbish out put, we buy organic veg, and our gas and electricity are both from renewable energy. I have an organisational system in place.  I do GTD.  I have evernote in place and synced calendars, email and phone.  I run the Secret Salad Society - a pop up supper club.  I must remember what I have already done, and how far I have come.  My relationship with my husband has never been better, my son is at the school I wanted him to go to and he is really happy there.  My parents are renting out their holiday house and have moved into a brand new house, and its warm and they are happy

And yet.  No horsebox travelling.  No Goa trips.  No eco house fully paid for.  Am not earning much of my money as an artist.  My art workshop is not set up as a regular thing.  I could be wealthier in terms of, you know, paying off the mortgage and all.  I still want to go on one of Jim's yoga holidays.... I feel I still have yet to step into my own shoes.  or maybe I still have to create some shoes to step into.  Mainly I need more work, and to feel more established in my work.  I have a tendency to want to slip back into the known of - things like running playgroups, getting a job in a shop.  When I know I need to step up and into the future where I am an artist, a faciltator, and something as yet unknown that will be totally my field and generate good income for me and my family.  I dunno.  DIY art school maybe.  Or selling.  Generating income.  Exponential income.  Bigger stuff.  Bigger, Beyondo Mondo stuff. 

So I am revisiting the course.  I bought it on PDF.  Ages ago.  And so.  here we go.  Me aged 10.  I loved ABBA and spent a lot of time pretending to be ABBA.  I built fairy villages in the garden, made of leaves.  I think at about that age, i used to make radio shows on a cassette recorder.  I was the DJ, played records (which involved taping stuff of the real radio - I had this HUGE old fashioned radio in my bedroom that had used to belong to my Grandad).  I made dens.  I wrote diarys and drew pictures.  I was a bit obsessed with Laura Ingalls Wilder.  Particularly the Long Winter.  I wrote a book about a post apocolyptic world where it was really really cold and we had to wear lots of clothes, and live in snow burrows.  I loved the idea of a gypsy caravan with lots of patchwork.  I loved cute cottages and imagined I would own one, and it would be called Bumble Bee cottage.  Or Appletree Cottage.  It too had a lot of patchwork in it.  And low ceilings. I think I quite liked the idea of living in a burrow, hobbit like, with round windows, oh, and lots of patchwork.  I loved nature, and pretty much knew all the wildflowers, grasses, trees and birds that could be found around and about me.  School was a breeze.  I liked Snoopy (though I never actually owned anything Snoopy myself) stripey socks... and i wore this big flat cap thing, which I called my cow pat hat, and I wore it everywhere.  My mum hated it. She kept buying me these sort of sailor caps instead, but I would have none of it.  I liked the Wombles and the whole idea of making good use of the things that we find.  I think they lived in a burrow as well, with the walls wallpapered with newspapers.  I liked that.  I made paper theatres, and crocheted a huge blanket.  I may be straying off the age of ten.  Its hard to remember exactly.  I was pretty productive.  I liked weaving!! I was pretty influenced by my mum I think.  I liked stuff she liked.  I cannot remember what i wanted to be, or do, other than live with lots of patchwork in cute burrown like places, own stuff that was Snoopy related, and be in ABBA.  OK enough of that. I think I had this self sufficiency type thing I wanted to do, you know to be able to survive, regardless.  Perhaps it was a proto 'offgrid' notion, where I would keep chickens, generate my own power and do a lot of patchwork.   I am off patchwork, and low ceilings or burrows, but I spose i do have a side that wants to live in a small place, have a woodburner and be pretty eco.  Maybe the ABBA thing is about singing?  hmm.

help dear universe

Universe, you rock. I love all that has come my way lately.  Its really cool.  I find myself with a bit of time on my hands.  And quite frankly I am almost at a loose end.  Not because I haven't got lots of things to do.  But I am not sure WHICH thing to do first. 

At the bottom of all of this is that I actually need to bring in some funds.  Up until the summer was super busy.  And now it sort of isn't.  Earning money wise anyway.  And I am just not quite sure which direction to go with it.  Am torn between just kicking back and reading books and making art.  OR committing to stuff.  *(which!!????) and then am tending to fall back on doing things I already know how to do.  Or washing up or something.

SO.  I really need to think what will be the most benefit in the LONG TERM.  And help me reach my BIG goals.

Oh and Universe. Please can you give me some money? or work that pays?  OR some indication of what the best thing to do regarding all or any of these. 

Cheers!

Home

I am taking part in Intervention.  An artist's book swap project.  I got a book and the theme was HOME.  Because my last post ended up being about our poetic mind.  My page emerged as a series of ideas that collate around my personal poem.  Being a visual person, I have a lot of images. The things that are resonating for me right now are

starlings

little red houses

night sky

a little bit of it all coming together

I went to a meeting of people who were involved in the Wild School.  To discuss what happens next with it.  If anything.  To mull a little on what worked and what didn't work.  It ended up being a really inspiring conversation about the essence of The Wild School.  And it all started to sound very much aligned with idea I have had floating around my brain for a very long time. 

I wrote on a piece of paper in a burst of inspiration that other day.  About what my work is.  Or my purpose.  Or even what it is I am really interested in. 

(provide / inspire )

pure magical energy and connection between human souls

Or maybe it is what I am looking for?  Either way, along with the words, Engaged, Curious, Vibrant & Brave.  Its  has become a little guiding principle of mine.  It can operate in any situation.  Whether I am teaching yoga, or art or how to make the most of your working day.  Though in the last one, I won't be mentioning pure magical energy (unless someone else does).  It will be something that I will bring to the table.  I think people, as much as they might not want to start talking about magic or energy, do recognise when it is there.  And probably the word magic, or magical only resonates with me.  OR certain types of people.  I know what I mean and you can probably describe it in other ways.  At the end of the day, I am not even sure it is something I can definitely muster up.  It requires a bit of, well, magic to actually happen.  But it can be an intention.  Because I do believe we all crave it.  Whether we articulate it or not.  And I am well aware that the articulation of it, can lead down all sorts of shutting off for many people.  You have to be able to describe it in a way that doesn't put someone off.  Actually scrub that.  You don't have to describe it at all.  Like I said, I think it can be sensed when it is there.  Like when a piece of music is brilliant.  Or an idea just grabs you and lights you up.  Or when someone is enthusiastic about something.  That energy rubs off. 

So.  then there is the finding a tribe.  This has been a quest of mine since arriving in Brighton.  It takes a while to find your people.  You know its funny, that the more I find 'my tribe' the more everybody becomes part of my tribe.  Maybe the connection thing is not specific?

I think I am going off on a tangent here.  Let me haul it back in to  - The Wild School.  The DIY art school.  The if I won the lottery I would go to art school thing.  The DIY retreat.  That going away with a bunch of people and eating together and sharing our skills and knowledge and by doing that creating a bond that cannot be created any other way.  I could go on and on about all of these things.  All of them matter to me.  And all of them feel really really right for me to be doing.  Building community, food, tribe, art, learning, sharing.  All of it.   Even a symbol that reoccurs in my art.  The little red house.  The little red house.  Apparently they have lots of these in Norway.  I don't know what it all means.  But I have this theory.  Actually its not mine.  Its Milan Kundera's.  We have a poetic mind.  And we will link together things which to us, start to feel like poetry, they ring true, they create a pattern.  We keep moving forward, and the dots form a pattern behind us, joining together to make sense. 

So, some patterns are forming.  It feels poetic.  I am enjoying it.  It feels right.  Who knows where it will lead.  But somehow its the right path for me to be on. 

so much art so little time

I am a little astounded as to just exactly how much art I have managed to squeeze into so little time.  I watched Untouchable.  That French film about a bloke in a wheelchair and his carer.  Seriously funny and charmant (comme on dit....).  That was Thursday night.  On Friday morning Hub and I snuck off to watch Alpha Papa at the Duke of Yorks at Komedia.  10.45 showing!!

Such a funny, tight script - utterly genius. 

And then, my friend M came round to babysit at 4.30pm and Hub and I  - WENT TO LONDON!  (wow - how long has it been since we did anything like this!! - together!!) for the People Who Do works outing.  We went to a lovely Lebanese restaurant in Paddington.  Got soaking wet in the torrential rain on the way there, having gone totally not dressed for rain.  Had a delicious meal.  And then went to see Punch Drunk's National Theatre show (performance / experience?) The Drowned Man.  It was totally amazing.  Hard to describe though.  Heck I will try.....  You go in, and you are given a mask.  You enter into a different world, the whole place - several floors - is a set.  With a soundtrack.  As an audience member you wonder around as you please in this set, and come across the actors, who also move around the vast set from scene to scene.   You choose who to follow and what to do.  Its an incredible set and there are acting scenes and a lot of dance  - contemporary storytelling type dances.  And the whole thing feels like you have been dropped into a David Lynch film.  Its extraordinary.  I know you could go several times and discover more of it.  WE got home very very late.  Wow. Am still reeling from it.

Then today I started off at Critical Incident, which is an event of experimental workshops curated by a chap called Paul Levy.  I did a workshop involving masks and identity (it felt right to go to a mask thing after the masks of the night before) It was really cool, though I volunteered for some bit where you stand in front of an audience.  Basically because this can make me really nervous and I want to know ways to help me do this better.  Yes it is something that scares me.  And it was all fine and useful until I decided to explain why I had volunteered and suddenly I found myself in my worst nightmare scenario of pretty much feeling as if I was about to burst into tears as I stood there in front of a bunch of people.  And so the lady who was running the thing, asks  - "and what do you need right now..." and..... in comes Paul with his iphone camera taking pictures... Well  it did break the ice and I managed to get a laugh.  Maybe that was exactly what I needed. And yes there are pictures.  Bloody facebook!  But the bit before that .... why did I decide to be so "vunerable" and "authentic"?! in public! sigh. 

Then I dashed across town to take part in a 4 hour FAST ART event as part of a Hackathon.  I am not altogether sure what a Hackthon is.  I think its where a bunch of computer types jam inventions.  This one was in response to the financial crash.  And us bunch of artists had 4 hours to create art in response to that.  The speed of it meant it was pretty rough and ready.  But it was really fun.  I ended up creating some sort of paper theatre thing in a very large cardboard box with mountains made out of the shape of the graph of the housing peak and crash.  And little red houses being blown up - well it started with little red houses in an explosion.  Someone mentioned monopoly houses and I had this idea to make lots of little red houses out of paper and suspend them as if they were mid explosion.  It didn't quite work like that.  But hey.  I enjoyed myself a lot.  And it was a really interesting challenge to create so immediately to such a random idea as data.

Then I went back to Critical Incident for a debate about mysticism. According to Paul this mainly involved keeping an open and curious mind about everything and never thinking you KNOW it all.  I am fine with that.  Not sure I'd go so far as calling myself a mystic.  But I do have a sense of awe and wonder at the world.  And the more you know, the less you realise you know. 

Right then.

SO I got up feeling in a right positive mood.  Realised I need to get my plans in order and get some proper actions in place.  I have stuff to get done, dreams to follow and things I want to make happen.

Am going to be using my timer to stop me from getting distracted (writing things like this!!)

More Money for Me

I read another money book lately.  I am a bit obsessed.  Its a fascinating subject to be honest.  And one I guess I am grappling with and  - well, its about life in a way.  So its about making the most of it. And something that isn't going to go away.  Much as I really would like a 'prince charming' lottery win to take away the burden of ..... or something somehow somewhere to do it all for me...  I mean even if you do win the lottery you still have to manage the stuff.


What I read in this last book I read, was really nothing more than a rephrasing.  But words have power and I really liked this one.  "Money for Me"  What it means is that every time you save some money by, say, not buying the expensive but lovely trainers you just looked at, or eating lunch at home instead of out, you mentally pop some money (or track it as an 'income') into the Money for Me fund.  Somehow it makes the whole being frugal thing so much more expansive and abundant. 

I really liked it.  And given that post holiday and post finishing off my book keeping I am again entering a phase of tracking my spending.  As a way of properly looking after and caring for myself and my family, you understand.  I am embracing More Money For ME!  (OK, US - we are a team!!)  MORE MONEY FOR US.

Today I didn't get lunch out.  When I really nearly did.  £5 in the money for me jar.

Running a 5K

ohmygod.  They say you must do the thing that scares you.  What scares me? Running.  I am NOT a fan.  I was rubbish at school.  My mum actually wrote me a sick note on the days of the big cross country race. And my mum was NOT the kind of person who wrote sick notes out for missing school.  She was a teacher.  She believed in education.  But she felt for me with the running.  And let me avoid it because hated it so much.

So this morning a lovely mum, whom I had told about my fundraising efforts offered that she was sure a bunch of mums from Humming Bird class (Bub's new Year 1 class name) would be up for some fundraising, and suggested all these runs we could do, and the C25K programme...... and I found myself unable to dismiss the idea.

I am in the prospect of running 5k.  And not only that, but the 6 weeks of running that you ought to do to get up to that sort of level.

Yes this is beyond me.  EEEEEEEEEEEEK

This is what I would be running for..... https://www.justgiving.com/OneBigStepforDaniel/

get yourself sorted

I just read a pithy little piece about how to get yourself sorted.  The hardest thing to change is yourself.  But its the best place to learn.

Work out where you want to go. 
Take stock of where you are now.
Work out what needs to be done to get where you want to go.
Do it.
Work through the 'this is a bit bloody scary' feelings.

ta-da! 

I am currently working on improving my finances.  Its kind of the same story as last year, or was it the year before.  Not that I am in the same position.  But a while ago I really worked on changing things for the better.  And I am at it again.  I don't want to be super frugal for no reason.  But I do want to reduce my mundane outgoings so that I can direct my funds at stuff I really want to do.  And then, I need to up my game on the income front.  Its bugging me that my lovely husband works less than I do, but earns more.  I know he has special skills and talents that he spent years working on and has extra degrees and a scary maths brain that can do a 17 times table off the top of his head.  But surely there are folk out there, with lesser skills and talents than I whose daily rate is higher.  Or whatever.  I want to earn at least £36,000 a year.  I have already set up myself on a challenge of earning £50000 before the end of September.  And I just get to this point of.  Well..... I just don't know how!  And so finding out ways.  So that I increase my income AS WELL as get a bit of a handle on my outgoings.  Well it will mean that I can reach a few of my goals.  Like living mortgage free (in a house that I own) etc.  And being able to get the attic converted and the kitchen re done.  (MAN I want a new kitchen!! -BIG TABLE!!)

So.  Its my challenge.  Am reading a book about it.  Yup.  Am always reading some book or other. And its a little like the one I read a year  or so ago called Overcoming Underearning.  And it really did help.  In fact these things really do usually help.  Bit of focus and attention on them and progress is made.  This one is called Money: A Love Story.  Its the same stuff.  But this time I am not starting from £5 an hour.  This time I am capable of earning much more.   I love my life and I love my work.  I love having the flexibility and time to do things I want, and that I don't have to wrangle (too much) with childcare.  But there is still work to be done.  I am not doing as well I can yet.  And dammit I want to earn as much as my husband does - for the same amount of work done.  Actually I want to earn as much he does for the same amount of work done, but I want us both to work a little more.  Not too much so that we lose the time we have..... But  - say 3 days a week every week.  apart from holidays.... yes that would be good.  And working up to having some sort of residual income that just comes in anyway.  And work on top of that.  good work.  interesting work.  enjoyable work. 

Apart from all that I have been doing a lot of cover teaching lately - for Yoga.  And I really enjoyed it.  It really made me want to have my own class.  I got a sense of how I would teach if I did have a class.  What sort of teacher I would be.  And I began to think that there must be something that kind of combines all the different strands of what I do.  Art, Yoga, Getting Stuff Done. Salads.  ANyway.  Am off to work on increasing my income!  see ya!!

Designing Your Day

the company I work for, People Who Do, hosted a trial of their new workshop, Designing Your Day, yesterday.  And I went along as a participant.  It was really nice to be taking part.  We doodled our best days and worst days, thought about our 'real work' (or what we liked to do most and were best at)  and did timelines of a typical day.  and then figured out what was getting the way of our real work / ideal days and figured out some solutions.  we all left with next steps (teeniest physical action you can take to move toward the final outcome)

I am doing quite well so far.  Got a date for the next Secret Salad Society (27th September)  - we are going to be popping up at various venues now that the Wild School term is over.

I am going to be investigating a shared studio space.  And a place to organise and after school mum and kids supper club.  kids do playing - grown ups do joint supper making and chatting....

And I have to ask Hub to see if we can organise a school run rota / if he will do it all for one week.  For some reason, if I am around its like by default, my job.  My timeline seemed to include an awful lot of childcare.  Which given we both work at home and are both parents......... hmm yes.  Had a chat about how everyone needs a wife.  Wouldn't it be fabulous! just someone to back you up, take responsibility for all that housekeeping and childcare stuff.  and you got to pick and choose when you could offer to do it.  Obviously looking after my child, is not totally a chore. But its the ongoing household stuff that I do seem to have more of my fair share of.  harumph!!

Another Baby Sale

THis time I am organising it totally for fundraising purposes.  Oh yes and to get rid of clutter.  Its like a sponsored declutter.  I have left myself just over a week to get it all sorted so - no pressure then.  I spent today on the case.  I am pleased to say that I have only one table left at the end of today.  I will be out flyering and sharing the event over the next few days.  Helping mum's and dad's get rid of all that stuff you thought you needed for looking after a baby.  And all the stuff you did use, but now have just got it all stuffed in the loft taking up space and being clutter.

I am gagging for Bub to go back to school.  I love love love him and its been great hanging out with him and going on holiday and all and all.  But I AM SO BEHIND IN MY ADMIN.  Blimey.  How sad is that.  But I really am.  I have piles, piling up.  And I STILL haven't called the Dentist.  Tomorro Hub was going to be taking Bub to the science museum.  BUT paid work turned up, and that just has to take precedence.  Annoyingly the days Bub and I were away, Hub thought that he had 2 weeks to do this work, and so spent his time decluttering his wardrobe rather than working.  Ach,  that needed doing too, and what can you do, client moved the meeting to Friday. 

SO I am off to the cinema to watch some disney movie and then on to the Level for a bit of hanging out on a patch of grass.  Note to self.  Take a book. 

School starts on Friday.  Phew.