only biting off as much as you can chew....

Of late, one project has been large in my mind - project move rooms.  It started last year (in my mind at least) and is still going on, incomplete, still bugging me ....

It's all about getting Bub into the bigger room and making the smaller room my studio....STUDIO - see - time and space to create!!  But then there is the giving up the spare bed issue, which was a reason to make me hang off a little, and then there was the bunk bed idea, which was meant to solve said spare bed issue.  And I found this company called Fearless Mike  that goes to Ikea for you and assembles your furniture for a reasonable rate which seemed like a brilliant idea.  And then it's just been really graunchy, like a proper uphill struggle and added to that, this niggling feeling that I am just not heading in the right direction with it all and in fact most of it has been a massive procrastination and not been worth it at all. 

All this FAFF so that I can have time and space to create.  And how much time have I wasted on it? And hmm, how much Space have I got yet.....?  hmmm. No Space.

Today Hub had a bit of a go at me for the jumble sale state of said 'spare' smaller room, adding to the whole thing that he thinks that sometimes I just dive in without thinking of a proper plan.... ouch!   And I do realise that I stormed ahead and got rid of beds and stuff and piled all my art stuff into the small room and as yet have not had time to sort it out.  OH and it's all there in this massive messy pile and I don't really have any where to put it.  Nor the energy or inclination to tackle it. 

And then today (all rushing action again) I got rid of a bookshelf  - ostensibly in order to make room for these bunk beds, which I was starting to feel not good about.....  and now we have 5 boxes of books cluttering up our bedroom.  Hub is not pleased and I have to admit some sort of defeat. 

Not that he wanted to talk about it, or help me find a solution! Off he goes out.... 

But I had my saving grace.  I got an email from Fearless Mike. The bunk beds are out of stock.  I leapt at my chance and cancelled the order.  I can put the book shelf back for the time being and just hang with how things are for a bit.  

Right now, I have enough on my plate.  Training for new job, Yoga teacher training, gallery job, a bit of childminding still, art projects I want to get on with, let alone the whole family, social life thang.

I am going to leave 'project move rooms' on the back burner for a while.  Let things settle.  Seek for a solution.  Let it all perculate and arise. 


And the really funny thing is.  That I just don't really really want to make that wee back room my studio at the moment.  Its a bit poky and awkward.  Its got a carpet and not enough floor space. And I had started thinking that maybe..........instead of making it my studio space, it would be more suited to being Hub's office hide out.  And that we could put the TV in it, freeing up the downstairs to be  - well a living space - maybe......... put a BIG TABLE in it and have it as part of the kitchen living space. 

And today, Hub,  totally independently (and obviously not aware of my year long quest to commandeer the box room) actually suggested that exact same thing to me today. 

So today.  Am stopping a project.  I felt chaotic in it, unclear of my motives and as if I was making rash and not good decisions.  I was trying to chew way more than I could and it was all getting lumpy.

I feel a massive sense of relief.  My gut feelings regarding the bunk beds were the right ones to follow.  Bub is a bit too young for them yet.  Perhaps I will just get a double mattress?  (yup I know I just got rid of one.. .doh!) which will alllow me to sneak in and snuggle up to him when Hub snores, for a year or so..... while he is still little enough to actually want that....

Sometimes you gotta know when its time to take stock and stop biting off more than you can chew.