oh yes I can

I hope that one day I can look back and chuckle at my struggles with confidence over standing up in front of folk and teaching them stuff.  I am looking forward to the time, when I am shining bright and go out dressed in beautiful colours, cutting a swathe of joy and respect wherever I go, and when I speak in a relaxed, joyful and in charge of myself manner.  like I just rock and what I do is utterly awesome,  and I am not bragging but just sayin' it like it is.  And even then, its just so apparent and unsaid that I don't even need to say it. And I just enjoy being up there. Like its just me in my sitting room talking about stuff I know and love. 

Is that what I mean? I don't know! I kind of had a vision today.  This lady came into the gallery and she was wearing such amazing bright colours, (and her feller likewise, wow, what a couple!) and she didn't look mad, though the colours really were totally out there.  No, she looked amazing.  It was the first time, since I went minimal on my arse about what colours I wear, that I kind of wanted to splash out and go wild on the colour front. 

Perhaps the time of black, blue and grey is coming to an end?  I am thinking.  Perhaps its time to come on out of the cocoon?

And I do want to get to the point of being relaxed with it all.  I know its already big steps forward. And maybe I am being hard on myself.  or maybe I am just too easy on myself and I need to step it up even further.  I do, its not over yet.  Keep on climbing.  Keep on.   Yes I can. Yes I can.