Shifts

I have been tracking expenses for a couple of weeks now.  Last week was not so good in terms of trying to bring our food bill down.  Oh well.  Its not MORE than it was, and we have been totally organic and avoided supermarkets, which is something I feel really proud of.  Also I am finding it different to not have a stoked fridge the whole time.  I think I felt compelled to fill it to the seams.  As the week comes to an end, it does start to feel a little sparse. There is definately still food to eat in there, but it just looks as if there isn't.  We are going to have to make a small trip into a supermarket in the cause of frugality but I am armed with a teeny list.  I am going to stock up on loo roll and diet drinks (a Hub diet thang) and keep going with the rest of it.  

I kind of feel its time for a list.  I dunno.  Maybe its that September thing.  And I opened this up with that full intention.  Write a list of goals.  Share them publicly.  Make them happen.  Things still feel slightly limbo ish.  Bub has his first full on day of school tomorrow.  His first day may have been last week, but actually, its been school lite.  Just half days, half the class in, no school lunch etc etc.  I think he is a little discombobulated by it.  He has been much more clingy and last 2 nights he has got up and wandered about instead of settling down to sleep on his own. 

I figured that until he is settled in the routine at school, that we would go back to sitting with him as he goes to sleep.  Just for a while.  I am not sure if it is him or me, or Hub, but this school thing, does feel like more of a shift for us all than we thought it was going to be. 

I am a bit scared of how it will dictate our lives, and it feels new and uncomfortable, and these acronyms like KS1 and the letters that come up with him (already) is all new and weird.  And our wee boy, he is not the most forthcoming, or sociable of chaps.  He doesn't dive into new situations.  Ah, well.  Parental fret.  Here's hoping it all pans out well. 

And waiting for this dust to settle a bit, for us too, for Hub and I to get going with work, a we have these new found hours in the day. To actually carry out the ideas we have had waiting in the wings.  We need to shift too.  Moving into the space you have imagined, I have discovered is harder than you think it is going to be.  You have to kind of fight your way through to it, coming up against your own desire to stay in the comfort zone of the habitual and known.  Forging new territory is tiring and hard work, as much as it is necessary, important and exciting, with prizes and so on at the other end.  Breaking the inertia, shifting the perspectives,  Yes.  All of that.