Inspirational Women?

A friend of mine mentioned that I might be interested in going to a conference called, something like, Inspirational Women.  Maybe it was Amazing Women?  Marvellous women? Something along those lines.  I thought it sounded great and looked into it, especially as it was going to be held in Brighton.  When I found out about it, I discoverd the roster of speakers were all women who had overcome something horrible.  Whether that was getting out of a war torn country alive or overcoming bulimia.  ALL of them were survivors, they had succeeded against the odds. 

And for some reason it really wound me up and put me right off going. 

I mean, its great that they have, and thank god they did,  and definately inspirational to anyone suffering the same sort of shit. Or even similar but different shit.  But why is it so often like this?  Especially when its women? Why is it that "inpsirational women" stories are so often about overcoming shit. 

I even feel like some sort of bitch writing this!  But something grates.  It all smacks of the stories in comics I used to devour as a kid.  It was the similarity of the themes that, looking back, I find kind of odd and slightly disturbing.   

These were titles such as Bunty, and Jinty, and Misty.  Preteen comics for girls. And  I loved them.  I would buy them in bundles, second hand, like box sets and not stop until I had finished.  They were all incredibly long sagas about talented gymnasts / ice skaters / ballet dancers  who were cruelly abused / injured / cast out into dire poverty and deprivation.  They all suffered, yet were never bitter, and they kept struggling against the odds and then finally - FINALLY -  they would win the gymnastics / ice skating / ballet competitions and prove to everyone how brilliant they were - and often gain back their family and love and acceptance and  - most satisfyingly of all - this would also put the nasty girls in their place.  All in one glorious finale. Yes I loved it.  And something in me still kind of does, in the same way, something in me still likes pink glittery things.

But it is the fact that the stories were long and  95% about the suffering part that bothers me.  How these girls were so good, so patient, never angry, always kind, and always striving, and struggling.

Is it me? Is it every girl, who loves, just loves a tale of cruel unfair treatment rounded off with a triumph against adversity?  What is it about these stories? Is it something ingrained?? Is it Cinderella? Snow White? Rapunzel?

And why did that "Inspirational Women" conference get my goat so much? 

I am not sure, but it bugs me.  It bugs me because somehow it is a particularly "women" type of thing.  Something that only women find inspiring and really celebrate.  Even if the women who lived these stories do overcome the obstacles.  Its that they have to pass through this realm of being the victim to succeed.  And often they do go on to be massive sucesses in their field....

I wonder sometimes if there isn't too much revelling in the shit bits.  Too much gory detail about the suffering.  As if women love to get together and bond in suffering.  Why can't we just skip to the 'being a massive success in their field' bit? 

Maybe my real gripe is that, what if you  haven't overcome a disaster, a debilitating condition or somehow hauled yourself back from the brink of the abyss?  What if you really are OK.  To start off with?  Is that boring?  I am wondering, Does there have to have this story of terrible deprivation in order to have a good story?  Particularly to women? You know, like Oprah type of interesting?

I think I am starting to want a different type of story.  One where it starts at OK.  Where inspirational doesn't need to get its justification via suffering.

OR Maybe I just want to be interesting without having to suffer.



P.S.  I do not in any way want to put down anyone who has suffered, or is suffering.  And I know it is inspiring to hear about people who succeed against the odds  - men or women.