I don't need no satisfaction (day 8?)

Hey.  I am keeping them coming.  I wasn't going to write today.  I wasn't feeling it.  And in fact I was feeling discombobulated again.   Slightly on the verge of feeling a bit gloomy and sorry for myself to be honest.  Not a good look in blogging.  Not something I want to be sharing with the world I thought.  And so I wrote in my book instead.  I like writing to work things out.  Sometimes I have done this too brazenly in public and I didn't really want to do that.  However, by the time I got to the end of my writing.  I had managed to go from a sense of life being drowned in its own administration and small pointless acts of bravery culminating in hollow victories.   That any goal once reached is never is so good as seems so beforehand etc etc.  Which can be true and was and is for me, often enough.  And yet. I can't just leave it like that.  There must be some sort of answer. And so I just kept asking myself questions. Trying to figure out what it was that was bothering me.   I was hungry for something and nothing I could think of was going to satisfy me.  And when you get to that, all that is left is  it being some form of spiritual malaise.  A human condition.  So how to approach it?

well.  here I got to something I was OK with sharing.  It is A GOOD thing to be feeling that there must be something more.  If I sat back and claimed to be satisfied with my life, I would just be repeating myself.  My life would become devoid of vitality and life.  We NEED to keep it alive by reaching to go further.  This notion that we can do better is what keeps us present, it brings animation, attention and keenness to our lives.

SO to stretch towards, further, more.  It enlivens.  So I end, OK with disatisfaction.  There IS more.  And I shall stretch towards it.

xx