sunday. the day after the longest day

Don't tell me the nights are drawing in again already.  Hub is a way, which makes the house very quiet.  No football blaring away, which I like!!

I found a whole bunch of old diaries / journals.  I found the fact that I wrote the same sort of things in them as I still am writing rather depressing.  So I threw them all away.  Hide the evidence, I say.  It made me feel that I hadn't really made any progress even though I really feel like I have.  Maybe the issues I was trying to solve then, will be the same issues forever.  Maybe I just know what I like and what I want to move towards.  And some of them are things like.  I want to live in a beautiful house.  I guess that wherever I get to on the quest to live in a beautiful house, I will always be thinking of ways to make it even more beautiful.  At least I am telling myself that right now.

As of Monday I will be taking part in a Do Something Different process.  I will be sent 'Dos" by email and on my phone.  And I am expected to do them, obviously.  They are supposed to be things that are outside of my normal remit, based on some responses to questions about how I normally behave.  I recall being very average in my responses.  I am not really an introvert nor an extrovert.  Anyway, I am intruiged to find out what it will ask me to do.  I really do want to do something different.  Given that I seem to be trying to do the same thing for about 6 years.  Maybe I should stop trying and  - well, you know, do something else instead. 

And its not as if there has been no progress.  To be fair.  I have had 'yoga' on my lists forever.  And I am now actually a qualifed and practicing yoga teacher.  Which is progress.  And art, I am now teaching art and creativity.  I have a body of work.  I think this is the next thing to get a real injection of attention and action.  This painting thing.  I want to do that.  You know.... more.

And I did find local well paid interesting work, I got married and I had a baby, who is now a boy.  I guess horsebox escape vehicle and - the old "earn more: work less" mission. 

I am managing the work less bit.  at least.  HA!  get me. 

I am veering wildly between extreme optimism and a sort of slightly lethargic pessimism.  I had a brainwave as to the name of my new Creativity Business.  Only to find the .co.uk taken by a PR company.  And one which is similar to what I want to do.  And I got all less driven again.  I guess I need to investigate that further.  As it was a good name.  Keeping that driven sort of enthusiastic high belief.  That's the trick.  Its a damned fine idea.  I just need to.... try.  Put it out there, get the flack.  Put it into the arena.  And keep trying.