Day 3 of no reading.... its getting harder!

So am on day 3.  I had to go onto FB today to do some promoting of some workshops I am doing.  Its hard to post and not read, so I did cheat a tiny bit by accident.  But only a teeny weeny bit.  And Other than that, I have been very good! No reading!!   Am definitely getting more done as a consequence. 

And I had a decaff coffee today  - instead of a real one.  I used some Smallbatch decaf coffee that I bought yesterday.  It was freshly ground and tasted and smelt delicious.   I tried an ecomil almond milk i bought this morning.  I have to say it wasn't a patch on the latte I had at Silo.  But I am thinking that perhaps they didn't give me almond milk.  It was incredibly creamy.  I think I may have to revisit to test it out again.  The almond milk I had in my coffee today was not creamy.  But it was an OK enough drink.  And  - so, the whole detox things  - I  am working my way up to it... slowly slowly!

I went to see Max St John of Wild Things today.   I would like to do his cohort business school thing.  Which is 3 sets of 2 days of thinking and experiencing around a bunch of things I know something about  - which I think  - feel - will be 1. interesting and 2. helpful  and 3. with a bunch of great other people. 

I have a thing.  Its probably imaginary, or a construct.  But its not helping me.  And I want to face it and  - deal with it, somehow.  This may help that too.  It may not.  But I don't exactly know how to deal with it so at this stage anything that seems as if it might help is worth a punt.  

So.  When I say thing.... its like a confidence crisis thing.  Or ... a tendency to.... get down on myself when maybe I don't need to?  I think this is what the thing is. ... Its something along these lines.  I mean, "They say"  that "the only thing holding you back is you". And I think it may be something to do with that too.   And mainly I want to be in a place where it doesn't matter.  But I don't want it to be a place where I have backed off and given up and not done something I really want to because of this - fear... .......it probably is a fear isn't it.  they ususally are, these things.

So....what is it that I am afraid of, exactly?