Yesterday I almost didn't give anything away. In a way I didn't, not especially, not like a thing. I thought about it all day and even that really helped. I so enjoyed not being on facebook and hearing the days politics gone over and over. Its a relief to get back to the day to day business of living. Living my politics so to speak. I had arranged to so coaching session with a friend which had been part of my assignement for my Business & Leadership coaching course. Because it had been a while since we had last spoken it was also a little bit of a catch up, and given the events of late it was hard not to discuss how we were both feeling. I told her how i had decided to stop going over how bad it all was and focus on the 29 gifts as a way of taking back my own optimism. And she kindly pointed out that this coaching session was a gift of my time. So that was what I gave away yesterday. My time and expertise. Though I admit it was quite an informal session and because of her optimism I actually got a lot out of it. Perhaps that is what it is all about, when you give you get.
She was really hopeful, and was welcoming the change in the air and saw it as an opportunity. So that was really refreshing. We both managed to steer clear of any pessimistic thoughts!
Today I am - excited can't be the right word.... but I am actually very delighted. A bit delighted. Well I just recognise that my Hub and I have reached a point where we are going to have a finance and budgeting meeting. We have actually agreed how this will work. We AGREED it. It is in fact momentous, because being able to talk about money is SOOOO HARD. Or can be, and certainly has been for us. So, for any of you who see this Money Work as actually proper spiritual, psychological stuff, this is a big and good thing for us. We are, at our ripe old age HA, being adult about it.
So far, we have 3 spending pots in the kitchen. One is for household and food items bought locally by cash. And we both have a weekly allowance each, in cash. We have also agreed guideline budgets for other things such as.. now, what are they = oh yes, Clothing; Personal Care; Learning & Development, Christmas & Gifts. Because we like to spend differently (I am more inclined towards travel, trips and holidays - he is more inclined to splash out big on birthdays and Christmas) We can save up to spend on these things over and above the guidelines. Its experimental at the moment. But for me, this is major. Before any conversation we had was ended with -well we have to earn more money! -which we do, and part of our financial meeting is to look at that - but there was never any consideration to looking at how we spent the money we had and how we prioritised that. That was something that was just not allowed to be discussed as it was seen as being stingy and mean.
So -just to balance this ridiculous glee at an agreed spending budget, and the fact that we can both agree on it. We also have in place a structure to discuss income. We will be looking at what we both earned each month, and what is due in the month to come. We have a basic target to meet that will cover our expenses. And so if we are not meeting that we need to really come up with ideas to do so. Then if that is being met, we have good and ultimate targets to meet. To keep us moving forward. And so the idea is, we start to gain control over our finances. We can track the spending and the income, know where we are and make informed decisions based on facts. Sigh. Can't tell you how happy this makes me. Being a couple can make all this very tricky!! But we have buy in. From both of us, on both counts. Becuase it will only work if we both take part. I am so proud of us.
Coincidentally I am reading Bari Tesler's book, The Art of Money. I am a bit fascinated by her work - she is a "Financial Therapist" and combines the psycholigical with the nuts and bolts practicalities. And its something that really interests me. Has done for a while actually. I am interested by how she managed to combine her spiritual psychological somatic coaching life with that of being a book keeper. Its not exactly the same as my life path, but I have this wild creative messy side and this side that wants to tidy up and keep track and be very nuts and bolts and getting stuff done. And there is no way I am giving either up! So its an interesting read. And given where Hub and I have got to, and what she advocates, I am again, doubly proud of us. We rock.
And just in case you are interested in reading a few good books on this subject. I recommend these;
The Soul of Money, Overcoming Underearning and this video by Charles Davis whose course, Creative with Money I did.
So - day 2. 28 gifst to go. Giving something away today. I shall muse upon it and let you know tomorrow what happened. xxx
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