Decluttering. GOD IT FEELS GOOD. It feels right. I picked up a book on de junking your life from a charity shop. I guess I felt i needed a boost in motivation. And It totally worked. The book drummed home the notion that junk is bad for your life, on so many levels. In every way it sucks your life energy away. If you collect and live in clutter and junk, if you watch it on TV, if you eat it..... its just BAD.
I got a rocket up my decluttering mojo.
I had started to notice that the understair cupboard was getting out of control again. So it was time for ACTION.
now you can see the floor
used jiffy bags and the excess clutter from the kitchen - to go
And for facing up to some realities. Like the 2 massive bags of used jiffy bags and cardboard envelopes that I had been saving for selling ebay stuff. I realised I was through with ebay (for itty bitty stuff anyway). The last experience was a bad one: f some fussy shopper complaining about £1 she had spend on a used pair of kids pyjamas. The whole thing was becoming more of a hassle than anyway of earning money. And the book was clear that junk addicts are always saving stuff up for some elusive car boot sale, and I knew I was guilty. However, because I am also rejuvenating my GREEN values, I need to recycle where I can. And I am very glad to have rediscovered FREECYCLE. The used jiffy bags were snapped up by an active ebayer. And instead of the sale of baby stuff I have been meaning to set up since about 2 years ago (and the definate decision that I am NOT going to have any more children too, of course) I gladly offered the couple who are expecting a baby, ALL of the new born clothes and equipment I had.
new born stuff to go
What was really lovely, was how nice they were, and how their reasons were ecological not just financial. They got the cot, the baby towels, lots of clothes, a changing mat and various bits and pieces. It felt really, really good. And another mum collected the unused pull up nappies I had left over - no longer needed since about a year ago.
left over nappies to freecycle and 2 bags for the charity shop
And the charity shop I bought the decluttering book in? It got a fair amount of costume jewellery, some sets of body creams and brand new make up stuff I have not even opened, a load of clothes, some kitchen equipment - yes I tackled that cupboard too.... Loads of stuff actually
getting rid of the financial clutter
Another area I am finally decluttering is my finances. When I wasn't working I spent quite a lot of time seeking out the best interest deals and so on, squirrelling away money here and there, and opening up new accounts and new credit cards and so on. And that, along with a decision to better align with my values in all aspects of my life. I am in the process of switching our current accounts to the cooperative bank (the only ethical high street bank) and our savings into the triodos bank, which is properly ethical and also ecological. Its going to take a while this, there are so many and they are all tied up to each other in ways that I keep remembering (my tiny numbers of share dividends pay into that account, the paypal comes of that account, itunes, amazon, all of that stuff. Anyway. Step by step, (I have a list!) I shall be disconnecting from Barclays, Tesco, Sainsburies et al and switching over to more ethical banking. Am quite intruiged by the idea of funding circles for future investment purposes. It seems a much better way of operating. Sod the bankers and their greed over riding everything else. I want to put my money where my mind and mouth is. I know it was someone wise who said, that if what you think and what you say and what you do is all the same then you are a happy human being. It might have been Gandhi.
Anyway. so a shed load lighter I am. And still some to go. Am not, for example going to be hanging on to the cardboard boxes that inhabit the loft. All the baby stuff is going to go. And probably a lot of other things from up there too. I know its in the loft and I don't actually see it. But energetically. Its hanging over me. And its going to GO! yay!
Lastly, and on a TOTALLY different note. I watched Fire in Babylon - which is a documentary about Cricket. I am not at all a cricket fan - but it was a brilliant and highly inspiring and entertaining true story. With music. I advise you to rent it and watch it. x
This morning I had a sudden urge to relaunch and idea called Hearts and Stars. Its an art / craft / design idea which - its simple really - anything to do with hearts or stars. Because I love these shapes. I love stars most of all, but hearts come a close second. Shiny and loving both of them. I think I will do it. apart from anything else this could be the My Brightly Coloured Life arm of my being. So far I have only made it happen on Pinterest. If you fancy having a look at the pictures I have been getting happy over, check em out just here.
I hope that one day I can look back and chuckle at my struggles with confidence over standing up in front of folk and teaching them stuff. I am looking forward to the time, when I am shining bright and go out dressed in beautiful colours, cutting a swathe of joy and respect wherever I go, and when I speak in a relaxed, joyful and in charge of myself manner. like I just rock and what I do is utterly awesome, and I am not bragging but just sayin' it like it is. And even then, its just so apparent and unsaid that I don't even need to say it. And I just enjoy being up there. Like its just me in my sitting room talking about stuff I know and love.
Is that what I mean? I don't know! I kind of had a vision today. This lady came into the gallery and she was wearing such amazing bright colours, (and her feller likewise, wow, what a couple!) and she didn't look mad, though the colours really were totally out there. No, she looked amazing. It was the first time, since I went minimal on my arse about what colours I wear, that I kind of wanted to splash out and go wild on the colour front.
Perhaps the time of black, blue and grey is coming to an end? I am thinking. Perhaps its time to come on out of the cocoon?
And I do want to get to the point of being relaxed with it all. I know its already big steps forward. And maybe I am being hard on myself. or maybe I am just too easy on myself and I need to step it up even further. I do, its not over yet. Keep on climbing. Keep on. Yes I can. Yes I can.
So today started off well, and finished up well. I did an hour of gentle yoga this morning, with a tad of navasana and utkatasana too. And I ate a good lunch. And then we went to Bubs new school for a play hour I n his new classroom. And I made hub come along and he decided again that he really didn't l I've the place. And I got really quite sad about that situation. He left and went to try and see if the schools could be changed. When I got back he had found out that it was quite a hopeless feat to change the allocation, and had given up on his diet. I felt right miserable and decided to have a bloody coffee, despite my earlier resolve to avoid caffeine. And then hub went and bought doughnuts and cake and so I ate 2 of those in a proper sabotagey sod it don't care about anything anyway kind of way. And then we both felt even more rubbish! It never works!! So for dinner I reigned it back in and ate well, and we had a good chat and all is much better. And this evening I had a really good chat with my very old friend. And we had a proper sort your life out long old chat too. And I really do feel much much better for that.
I started off writing this post because we were talking about how you have to work out what matters and then arrange your life around that. And how it's important to nourish your soul. And lots of other things like making enough money not to be scrabbling around in a panic too often.
And so very shortly I am off to have a lovely hot bath with good bath oil. It's a Nora Ephron quote that has stuck with me for the last few days.
Life is too short not to use the good bath oil.
And while it's not strictly bath oil as I prefer bubbles. It is Neals Yard and it's organic, it makes the bath smell like I just had an aromatherapy massage and it is definately on the good side. And as I poured it in, joyously using it up, I thought about how I want to make sure that my life has hot baths and good bath oil in it.
I want
long chats with good friends
Art retreats
Yoga
Good food that nourishes my body
Time with my son
A happy home
Travel especially to France and warm places (ohmygod I am getting fed up of this cold and wet summer we are having)
Festivals
Dancing
Creative brainstorming
Fine quirky intelligent minds to bounce ideas around with
Camping
Art gallery visits for inspiration
Enough money to not scrabble around or feel panicked, and to make my home hospitable, and to eat out for every meal, (if I wanted to)
Love
Kindness
Am sure there are other things. But right now, the good bath oil beckons. And I am very glad I have my old mate to chat with on soul levels with. Am a better person for it.
For the last week I feel I have been suffering from that thing they call Tired All The Time. At the end of every day I have a slight sore throat and a slightly swollen gland in my neck. I wake up feeling like I need a nights sleep and at 7.30pm I am pooped and want to go to bed. I feel like a modern blah, a typical rat race victim of stress and overwork. Annoying seeing as I am not overworked and I am training to be a yoga teacher. Its the way it compounds I don't like. I am tired, so I have little energy, so its hard to feel up about things, so you start to feel a bit down as well, and so then the extra piece of toast and marmalade feels really deserved, though you know its not really doing you any good, and this slippery slope, of feeling tired and so having another coffee, or a
coca cola or a glass of wine, or some chocolate.... All to make
me feel better, but probably in the end contributing to more of the
same TATT feeling. And I am feeling a bit low. And everything does feel like a struggle. And I am getting very fed up with it, and me.
So. Better do something about it. As I am definately at the end of my tether with it. I am torn between going back to bed and doing some exercise. And not entirely sure which would be better. A tad of googling has resulted in the cures of good food, enough sleep, probiotics, exercise and no coffee or alcohol.
So that, I guess is my course of action.
Off to do a bit of gentle yoga. And will be hitting the hot water and lemon and some live yoghurt for my snacks and treats.
Am getting re inspired today. When I started this blog, it was about aligning my life with my dreams. Well it still is, but lately I feel I have slightly lost my connection to green and simple living. To me a happy life is one that is aligned with your values. To think act and speak in the same direction. It started with the whole Barclays debacle that happened recently. I have heard quite a few stories about them mistreating their customers, but it's not something I have really thought about as being something I can do anything about. In fact I hadn't thought about my banking at all, a part from in terms of how much money I had or didn't have. Last week my husband told me about Take That being held to account for their tax avoidance tactics. All of them, that is, apart from Jason ORange. Who has all his money in the Co Op bank and always has done, and who pays all his tax as he should.
Wow. Tropical style rain out there just now.
And it got me thinking that I want to bank with the CO OP bank. It of all of the high street banks its the only one that really has any ethical stance. And so thats it. Tis week we are moving out our accounts out of Barlcays, who I signed up with as a student, and we are going to move to the coop. I moan about the banking system and watch films by Michael Moore and think I can't do anything about it. Well I can.
Contact the Co-operative Bank on 08457212212 or www.co-operativebank.co.uk
And further to that, I will be switching to Ecotricity for our electricity provision and signing up to a veg box scheme.
Www.ecotricity.co.uk 08000 302302
And avoiding the supermarkets as much as I can, and going organic where I can.
I figure with a bit of meal planning and avoiding over shopping at said supermarkets then it won't be more expensive.
On another note, this week was a big work week, PWD hosted an away day for about 60 members of a clients team. I managed 2 workshops, both of which went well. And more importantly, I copresented the AP workshop. This is a milestone. I was meant to be leading it. But I was considered not good enough yet. This was part of a previous posts 'getting into the arena and taking the flak' post. Delivery of this productivity training is something I am learning to do, and have been working on for a long time. I had an assessment a while back and it didn't go well. I was very upset and well, gutted, to be honest by the negative feedback. But at the same time, it was valid, and I needed to pick myself up and carry on getting into the arena! And so with some more practice, particularly in the realm of speaking clearly, with a confident tone, and fewer ums, sort ofs, kind ofs and less shaking!! This week, was my first ever in front of paying clients experience. I was nervous to begin with but definately it got better. But it went well. At least, one of the people on it sent an email to say it was the best workshop she had ever ever done at channel 4 and that she had been there a long time, and she definitely knew others who would enjoy it. So as a whole it went down very well! I do believe it went well anyway! Mind you I had thought it had gone well the last time! So perhaps not? Ha! Either way, I did it, and the more I get out there and do it, the better I will get. So a week of firsts. First time teaching yoga, first time delivering to paying clients. Bring it on world. My year of getting out there, pushing past the limits of my comfort zone and expanding my universe.
And to add to the whole bring it on vibe. Have just been reading Frugal Queens blog about losing weight. I have flirted with this issue a while. And am not entirely convinced I want to just lose weight as such. But keeping fit, doing more yoga practice and adding to my life things that will do me good, is definitely on the cards. Perhaps it's all to do with aligning myself to my purpose and values? But I feel a sense of reinvigorated drive to do so. And our 'productivity' workshop itself. It's not just about getting things done. But it's about working out what is important, and taking small steps towards our desired outcomes. And if what I want is to be a fit and healthy person, who teaches art, has a great job, can support her family, lives green, lives her values, then actions need to be taken. Small steps at a time. Anything is possible.
