a list.

Get a yoga class up and running.  And get paid to teach yoga more often.
Sell AP.  All sorts of new stuff involved in this.  But must act and progress this line of work.
Progress portrait business.  Take out the flyers I already have to kiddie friendly cafe's in and around Brighton, Hove, Lewes etc. Take them whereever I go.  Sort out my website.  I have no idea if it even still exists!!
Get in credit in all bank accounts and have a stash of savings as back up in all of them.  Yes.
Earn more.
Practice yoga more (every day.  work it.  break inertia.  strengthen my tapas!)
Continue organic shopping and eating.
Spend less.
Grow our own salads
have an exhibition
host supper club

Shifts

I have been tracking expenses for a couple of weeks now.  Last week was not so good in terms of trying to bring our food bill down.  Oh well.  Its not MORE than it was, and we have been totally organic and avoided supermarkets, which is something I feel really proud of.  Also I am finding it different to not have a stoked fridge the whole time.  I think I felt compelled to fill it to the seams.  As the week comes to an end, it does start to feel a little sparse. There is definately still food to eat in there, but it just looks as if there isn't.  We are going to have to make a small trip into a supermarket in the cause of frugality but I am armed with a teeny list.  I am going to stock up on loo roll and diet drinks (a Hub diet thang) and keep going with the rest of it.  

I kind of feel its time for a list.  I dunno.  Maybe its that September thing.  And I opened this up with that full intention.  Write a list of goals.  Share them publicly.  Make them happen.  Things still feel slightly limbo ish.  Bub has his first full on day of school tomorrow.  His first day may have been last week, but actually, its been school lite.  Just half days, half the class in, no school lunch etc etc.  I think he is a little discombobulated by it.  He has been much more clingy and last 2 nights he has got up and wandered about instead of settling down to sleep on his own. 

I figured that until he is settled in the routine at school, that we would go back to sitting with him as he goes to sleep.  Just for a while.  I am not sure if it is him or me, or Hub, but this school thing, does feel like more of a shift for us all than we thought it was going to be. 

I am a bit scared of how it will dictate our lives, and it feels new and uncomfortable, and these acronyms like KS1 and the letters that come up with him (already) is all new and weird.  And our wee boy, he is not the most forthcoming, or sociable of chaps.  He doesn't dive into new situations.  Ah, well.  Parental fret.  Here's hoping it all pans out well. 

And waiting for this dust to settle a bit, for us too, for Hub and I to get going with work, a we have these new found hours in the day. To actually carry out the ideas we have had waiting in the wings.  We need to shift too.  Moving into the space you have imagined, I have discovered is harder than you think it is going to be.  You have to kind of fight your way through to it, coming up against your own desire to stay in the comfort zone of the habitual and known.  Forging new territory is tiring and hard work, as much as it is necessary, important and exciting, with prizes and so on at the other end.  Breaking the inertia, shifting the perspectives,  Yes.  All of that. 

strange beauty

Create beauty.  Break bread together. Find true people. There has to be a strange beauty in what you do.  Share how you got here.  Be brave.

The Do Lectures from

loving the veg box innit

It is week 2 of our veg box delivery.  We have gone with Abel and Cole.  Mainly because I got home the other day and they had leafleted and you got 1 free box and the cookery book if you signed up there and then.  So I did.  The good thing about them is that they sell a whole load of other stuff as well.  We can pretty much do all our shopping with them if we want.  So we are getting milk and cheese and orange juice and stuff too. I have hence decided to absolutely as much as is possible to avoid the supermarkets.  We have been once since, to get breakfast cereal for bub and diet drinks for hub.  He is back on his diet and while these things are not the best, they do help him with coping with a carb free diet.  He is doing really well.  3 weeks of 6 days no carbs and one day indulging!  He has lost nearly a stone, so it really does work.  of course this is all weight he has put back on since he stopped bothering with dieting, but its still good.  Also I just think there seems to be a real shift in what he wants to eat, and the maintenance of weight loss is the important part.

I am loving loving loving not going to the supermarkets.  I just feel so right about it.  I have been tracking spending since then too, and though our food bill is not low (£86 for the first week)  it is actually lower than it was.  We are eating up more of the food we have got, and you have to bear in mind that we are now eating pretty much entirely organic, so not 'frugal'.

I met a chef this week, who started to tell me that 'organic' was not the way forward as it was 'unsustainable' and didn't necessarily mean organic or eco friendly at all.  Which almost pissed me off as this is part of the whole reason for me doing so.  But actually, according to her, the way forward is to buy locally, and buy from responsible farmers.  Organic certification is really hard to get and there are plenty of farmers who are nearly organic.  I was very pleased when she bigged up Abel & Cole as really supporting local farmers and being an excellent choice.

Organic or not, not buying from the supermarkets was definately key.  I really believe in supporting local and small businesses so am very happy that my veg box choice is part of that.

Another thing I am really loving is that there is SO MUCH LESS packaging.  The boxes and bags things come in are returnable.  And even the milk and cheese comes packed in a wool cooler box.  Its not polystyrene!  I am putting so much less in the bin to landfill.  Gotta be good.  

Now to start getting that food bill down a bit.  And the rest of the spending, which is still a bit out of control.  I think we have to have a look at the whole reality of our situation.  We have a really great life at the moment.  Neither of us has to commute or do horrid work.  We are very free, and can cook at home and look after Bub when he needs us.  However we are currently spending more money than we have coming in.  Supported by savings.  And this is definately not sustainable. 

Putting my money where my mouth is.

That old back to school feeling has also gt me thinking about my finances again.  For quite a while I have been operating under a more laid back, not stressing, waiting for the abundance sort of thing.  And while it has been somewhat ok, and we have had holidays and I have some new clothes and all.  I am re reading one of my finance books again that inspired me a lot about a year ago.   it's good as it is clear to me that I am definitely making strides forward in many areas.   But then it gets to the respecting and managing your money chapter, and I realise that I am definitely not really paying attention.  It's not just about being frugal, but being realistic, and honest, and generally having a plan.  Not just ignoring it all and hoping for the best.   I do see that there is some relevance in not penny pinching, as it's just a bad mindset really.  Like coming from a place of scarcity = not good.  But I think it could be time for a bit more eyes open awareness.  And there has been some debt, not in all areas, but nevertheless it is costing us money and debt payments really piss me off.  Money for nothing which could be better spent on something!!  So am going to go back to a bit of tracking our spending for a while.  And am aiming to get that debt paid of ASAP and manage within our current resources whilst looking to increase our income at the same time.

I guess I want to be frugal, but not so frugal that I get all pinching about it.  I wonder if there is a better word.  Mindful? Yes, I want to be mindful of my spending.  And this applies to what I spend my money on too.   I have. Been getting increasingly frustrated with supermarkets, for various reasons. And one of the main reasons is because of the more general momentum I have got going regarding aligning my living with my values.  And I value local and organic.  I value organic, not just because I don't want to eat the chemicals that are sprayed or injected into foods.  But because organic farming methods don't kill bees.  And if I buy a veg box I am supporting organic farmers.  It's not the most frugal way to eat.  But to me it seems like money well spent.  My money is not going towards supporting bad shareholder decisions that force farmers into debt.  It's my way of being political I guess.  Yes it costs more.  But at the same time, I find tht if I don't go into supermarkets, then I d ont buy loads of stuff I don't really need.  I am aiming to meal plan better.  We have an allotment share now, so will hopefully be saving some money by growing our own organic vegetables.  I
Find myself increasingly unable to eat cheap meat.  It just makes me feel a bit sick.  Knowing how it is produced and all.

I am finding the switching of bank accounts a little tricky due to the ample overdraft facility we both have at hideous Barclays sadly.  One very good reason to get into proper credit with back up.  It's tricky to negotiate self employment and varying income without the back up of overdrafts.  But that is my aim.  Just don't want to have my money tied up with bad ness any more.   SO. There's my statement of intention, folks.  Going to spend my money on organic produce, outside of supermarkets wherever possible.  We are now signed up to ecotricity and hence buying all green power.  My ISA and savings are with Triodos and Nationwide.  I am getting out of Tesco Bank and ultimately getting out of Barclays.  I even have some probably worthless shares in some banks which I got during the whole banks sell off thing.  Being frugal then meant cashing in on any deal that was going.  Regardless of what it was it seems.  I will be putting my money elsewhere.  And all the while working on my own personal ability to earn money.  Work with People Who Do looks good.  I will be starting my yoga classes and doing an art workshop, with the idea of doing more going forward. Am collaborating on a card deck with my writer friend Morgan and generally much more getting into the arena.   All is good.

art life confidence and animal totems

So so much to  say today. 

Firstly I am looking into inspiration for my portrait work, and the workshop that I will be teaching in November.  Along with a lot of firsts this year, teaching art will be one of them.  A long held dream.

I am collating a very exciting (to me!) pinterest board.  And thinking about how I want to pursue my portrait work.  I am thinking of mediaeval poses, religious icons, props (in particular crowns!) and using bird imagery. 

I love birds and have used them quite a lot in the art I create.  And I was reading a blog post by fellow Soul Sister Jessica Brogan - in which she mentioned that her totem animal was a fox.  And asks would anyone be interested in hearing more about animal totems.....

so I instinctly chose the Swallow for mine.  I don't know if that is how you get your animal totem.  But that is what I did.  And then I looked it up.  And then I made myself cry, reading the gypsy meaning of swallow, being the stars for the souls of dead children and the swallow being the totem for mothers who have lost their children.  ow.

 I love the idea of Swallows being stars (I love stars too!) and they also represent hope and the dawn of new love.  I also found this out.  I like it.

Swallow:

Swallow teaches the power of objectivity, community fellowship, and communications in a group environment. He can teach discernment and proper actions to avoid threats with tenacity, style and class. Swallow shows how to think quickly, react appropriately and use the power of thoughts to manifest ideals. This animal will aid in your in own nesting instincts to create something from nothing. Ingenuity, determination and innate skills will help capture what is necessary for you to succeed. Swallows are masters of the air and will show how to move with utmost grace with agility and style. Are you moving with the flow of thoughts and ideals? Are you working in cooperation with others? Swallow shows how love and communication paired with trust can do the most good. It is time to renew the environment around you and ride the favorable air currents and tailwinds to stay above anything that comes your way.

From http://www.starstuffs.com/animal_totems/dictionary_of_birds.htm

I have also been thinking about confidence.  and the nature of confidence.  Yesterday I went to a friends 40th birthday party.  Where incidently I danced like an old raver to some fabulous blasts from the past and had a very happy time.  But I was chatting before the dancing started about teaching, and how learning that you are good enough, or becoming confident in your own ability is part of the journey.  And it struck home, though we were talking about someone else, how this is my journey too.  To grow into the confidence I need and to realise that I am capable, and I have the knowledge and the ability and all of these things, and its not something I have to chase after, its something I have to realise I already have. 

OK enough of that.  Am off to create a pinterest board for my folks house . They are selling half of it (and building a new  house in half of it) they are looking for a buyer.  Its an amazing and special house.  And needs to be bought by someone who appreciates it.  see some pictures here......

another class done n dusted

Just to say that my class today went really well.  My planning and trial run throughs definately paid off.  I am still suffering from hideous pre class nerves, but everyone asked when I would be back and said that they had really really enjoyed the class.  YAY! 

After a little nap (I slept so badly last night!) I popped to the supermarket for cake ingredients and am very proud to announce I baked a rather yummy looking chocolate cake.  And now for a big glass of wine!  PHEW!