DAY 6 - relaxing and energising

Yesterday I had a bit of time to myself and I found myself pottering with the aim of relaxing.  As in, I know I'll just get a cup of tea sorted, and maybe some toast, and THEN I'll relax.  Sometimes I have to tidy up or clean, and THEN I'll settle in for a bit of chilling. 

But I kind of heard myself doing it yesterday.  And I thought.  Hang on, why wait? Why not make this cup of tea in a relaxed way.  Relax THEN do something!

It worked, I made a leisurely cuppa.  I felt relaxed.  I enjoyed the process.

Its funny a few weeks ago I was pushed for time.  I had unexpected stuff come up that meant the days I thought I had, I didn't.  (Snow days, boilers days, ill days) and today (and yesterday) its been the other way around.  Instead of being stretched to fit stuff in, an event has been postponed, and so I have more time than I was expecting. And so am able to catch up on stuff which has been hanging arounnd my TO DO lists for a while.  Its a good feeling.

Not only that but it is WARMER.  And my first assessment went BETTER than I expected.  A bit of spring like weather and a GOOD MOOD is a real energiser!

xxx

Just had my first assesment class

I think it went OK.  Well even.  I got a load of poses find tricy - no surprise there, I guess I was expecting that. But on the other hand, because I find them tricky, it meant that I kind of know how to teach them better.

I am happy with how it went. 

I think I am going to be OK.  I have to teach another class on Sunday, this time its one I have devised myself (as opposed to being presented with a bunch) and it has to be a pranayama class.   Hmm. 

Its odd the house is quiet.  I ought go do something other than this.  Will let you know what later.....

day 5.... yes keeping it up!! just! and a big (Hairy) goal set.

A rather relaxing day of looking after Bub.  A trip to the park and an art work shop.  Yoga this evening.

Hmm.  yes its day 5 and I really have nothing much to say.  Hub is here asking me what I am doing.  And suggesting (unsuitable) ideas for blog posts.

I have a yoga test tomorrow.  I am OK with it.  I am figuring that if it hasn't gone in now, then its just too late now.

I can't write this now.  Hub is chatting away about ballet, electric cars, big data. .....  And here's me being very anti social.  And I fancy a snack too. 

OK.  nope. nothing coming.  OH YES there is.  I made a decision.  Re the Yoga.  I have a BIG HAIRY GOAL.  I am going to earn, via teaching yoga ALL The money it cost me to do the teacher training course.  I like it.  Its finite.  It is achievable and its motivating.

I am happy with all that I have learnt on this course.  I feel my life is richer for it.  I wasn't sure I really wanted to become a yoga teacher off the back of it.  But at the same time, if I don't teach yoga, then, well, its a bit of a waste.  I want to carry on with it, and keep immersed in it.  It gives me vitality and that is just plain good.  I don't want to give up on it.  SO that is one goal set.  

will keep you posted

Day 3

(NOTE - I did write this yesterday.  On the ipad.  And then it wouldn't pubish.  I don't know why.  I need to visit the genius bar to get some technical assistance on various things...... but here is the cut n pasted and emailed to myself post I wrote....)

Day 3
Am on the iPad. At the kitchen table. I am eating a bowl of cereal. I am not feeling altogether well in the belly. I am not sure that the whole kefir experiment is going as well as it should!!

Bub and I spent the day at a friends new house. It's a proper cottage in the deep dark woods. Down the end of a muddy lane. What a swell place to live! Those boys of theirs are going to have right good n  fond memories of
growing up roaming free in the woods. A stream at the bottom of the garden. A little bridge, acres of forest, lots of moss and lichen and badgers and rabbits and all. Must say I felt a twang of jealousy and cottage in the deep dark woods envy.  Even though I do love my Brighton existence!

I have returned not feeling entirely right, not in my gut (literally) and not in my self. Something needs attention. I am not yet sure what. I feel as if I am teetering on the edge of something else but not knowing what it is yet. I am Unclear as to what way. Do you ever get those moments? It's like a crossroads but all the paths are still to be discovered. Ach. Something. I've that. Or maybe it's all nothing, and I just feel a bit iffy. And it will pass and all will resume. 

OH........(realisation)  maybe it's because the big goals that were ahead of me for a long time are now passed, or ending soon. And there is this sense of, lost ness. What now ness? My yoga teacher training, is nearly over. (well, if I pass it is!!!!) and it's been two years.  Similarly with work, since meeting the People Who do,  the plan has been to get me out there, managing and delivering the AP workshop, and now I am. So whereas it did have this end game, it's now not got an end to it.

I need to think and work out what to do next with both those areas of my life, neither have an end point or a
next step to them!!

Well, I guess I have at least worked out why I feel nebulous and unsure! Off to work out some new goals / end points and some new next
steps......

Sent from my iPad

day 4 - a lot of yoga and a walk in the park

Today was sunny again and I spent the morning doing yoga.  YES.  4 hours of it.  Totally enjoyed it, and felt rather tired by it.  Ustrasana at the end there, I seemed to just not be able to find the muscle strength I needed! phew.  Imagine if I did that everyday.  I'd be so strong.

I have a test / assessment on Tuesday.  I really had better prepare a little tonight and tomorrow.

Not sure what I have to say today. But I have found the post that should have come up yesterday.  Am going to post that first anyway. 

There.

In the afternoon Bub and I went to the park.  Where we bumped into many people and had some good chats.  Well I had good chats whereas Bub played some intense game of warfare of sorts.  Him and a pal had found a couple of enemies in a 6 year old and 4 year old and the 'battle' went all over the park.  I loved the mash up of semi understood knowledge of world war II and Fantastic Mr Fox. ("we were playing spitfires, spitfires are a kind of bomb, they look like pine cones that are burning at the top") 

I bumped into the guy who might sell me his old camera today.  They are such a nice couple them two.  Anyway, it was good because I had sent him a text message to let him know that I was interested if he did get around to selling it..... and he hadn't replied, so I was worried it was the wrong number etc etc.  But he has my number.  If he decides to sell....  

I think I might make photography my new project to replace Yoga teacher training. 

And I came up with an OUTCOME for my yoga.  I am going to get a class and or do workshops, with the aim of *(at least) earning back the money it cost me to do the course.  I have some way to go. But I like the idea.  It involves me getting my act together in that whole 'teaching yoga' area, and it has a nice finite achieveable goal at the end of it.  Its a good purpose!

a blog a day DAY 2 (OK lets see how long I can keep this up!)

Ah, it was another cold cold snowy sleety day here in Brighton.  I spent the morning at Funplex, which is a kind of special hell for grown ups, though the smalls seem to enjoy it pretty much. I think everyone there was gritting their teeth and wishing we were all out in the sunshine in a park or on a beach or some such warm natural environment instead.  Even the kids, if they had stopped running and shouting might have felt this too. 

Its getting to be a little dismal this cold cold grey sleety weather.  Everyone is getting a teeny bit grinchy.  And with 19 days of school holiday.  I guess Funplex itself was at least making a gain from it.  If it had been sunny, it would have been deserted.

Luckily I had managed to persuade a few other parents to bring their offspring along too, so it wasn't so bad.  I met some new folk and got to know some others better.  I am practicing listening at the moment.  I kind of invented this motto for myself yesterday.  SLOW DOWN and THINK MORE.  Maybe I should have put LISTEN in there.  I am trying to shut up rabbiting on, and really concentrate on asking good questions and listening really well to the answers. 

I am also trying very hard not to do the YES BUT thing.  Instead to respond with a more positive YES AND.  This is more at home where I am less conscious and more apt to jump in with habitual reactions to stuff.  A little listening rule, which is to consciously WAIT for 15 seconds before responding, is helping to bring a little consciousness into my responses, as in - during that 15 seconds I can rephrase a YEAH BUT into a YES AND.  At least this is the plan, and it is what I am trying out at the moment. 

Its a work in progress....... nipping habits and changing them isn't easy.  I will say that this listening mallarky makes for very interesting conversation.  Its hard to think of good questions, but really cool listening to the answers. 

Blogging Love Affair

No, I am not having a love affair.  But I rather liked Flora Bowley's post about falling in love again with her blog.  I dip in and out of mine.  But ole Flora has committed to 30 days of blogging.  Anything can go in it, as long as its everyday.  I love overcommitting myself so I thought I would see how much I can join in. 

So HELLO blog.  Today is Thursday and I am meant to be cracking on with my work.  I have very little time it seems, an awful lot of Yoga homework to do, a portrait commission, Yoga study (my finals are coming up), Yoga assesments,  2 Productivity workshops to organise and deliver, and evidently a healthy procrastination habit (WHY ARE YOU BLOGGING WHEN YOU OUGHT TO BE CRACKING ON WITH STUFF)

I really ought to listen to myself.  OK!! short but SWEET! OFF TO WORK I GO