brief update

Briefly as I am roped into going to see Boss Baby this morning.  I hate being roped into things, but Bub wants to go and Hub wants us out of the house so he can "work".  Ha he would be furious if he saw I had  " " 'd that.  He is working, though he has lots of breaks to do things like, update his diary, read books, and watch SNL on you tube.

We have been away in Suffolk visiting my folks.  We all went, and it went very well.

What worked for me, was to not get worked up about anything, just to be present and put my focus on making it easy for everyone and myself,  not trying to control the situation and make it best for everyone.  Hub struggles outside of his own comfort (control) zone so I decided to be supportive of him and not annoyed that it all should be different.  I have to say it was a very effective strategy and just goes to show that we cause a large part of our own suffering by fighting against what is.

I haven't been very on it with the MM or the exercise or the anything really.  I haven't felt very well, or I have felt very tired since last week.

ANd it was easter and there was too much chocolate and wine and all that sort of thing.  I am definitely giving myself a break over it all, and not fretting too much.  I feel a tad - lost focus and lost committment and what the hell happened to doing it even if I don't feel like it.

This morning I did actually press snooze.  Which is a huge MM no no.  I guess I will feel better soon, that or, I will do it, even if I don't feel like it, and that will make me feel better?  One of the two.

Bub is being 'challenging'.  I mean he isn't really, but there is a lot of contrariness going on.  And stuff we suggest is dissed and he is lolling about being  'bored' which I can't stand.  Hub  then gets cross about their being no 'structure' which pissed me off as I continually providing 'structure' means that we are generating the entertainment for Bub who is passive enough as it is.  Or  - he is passive and then, doesn't want to do anything.  And then gets bored.  But then last night as I was reading to him, he came out with loads of knowledge about rare butterflies.  And this morning he told me that he discovered this himself by reading a book he picked up at the library.  He's a dark horse is bub.  None of your usual kid in your face look at me, energy bunny, I want to do this and that.  More that he does things his own, way, and in secret.  Funny wee chap.  Find him really hard to know how to parent best sometimes.  Bless him.

There is something about those damn nintendo games that obsess him and then, after a while of playing them, he is listless and bored and sad, and doesn't want to engage in anything, other than maybe watching you tube videos of someone else playing that game, or maybe watching TV.   Sometimes I think he needs to have space, to just hang out and not be hassled into things or structure, so that he can gather himself and be bored for a bit, and  - well, be spacious.  I am glad we did nothing yesterday.  I think - he needs that sometimes.

Anyway, not much looking forward to Boss Baby.  Will let you know how it goes.