Good Friday Reflections

So,  I missed a few huh.  I had been very very consistent on this miracle morning thing.  And then it fell.  I did 41 completions according to my habit app!.  This week I was ill, I felt exhausted, I lost my mojo.  Turns out it was also full moon, and yesterday I got my period.  So go figure.  It all went.

I decided in all this that I am not going to give up or give myself a hard time about it. I needed to rest up. Big time.  So I did.  Also physically I was ill, and that is definitely what my body needed to do.  And I am glad I did because today I can feel my energies coming back.

So I took care of myself.

What wasn't so ace about all this, was that I was pretty grumpy to my family.  I was not able, it felt, to remain or retain my equanimity.  I lost that too.  I hope that they will forgive me, but I wasn't very nice and I wish that next time I am ill, that I can retain my - kindness, gratitude and - well not be such a grumpy arse.  I picked fault at any occasion to be honest, I was unable to deal with my son and his obsession with his video game, mainly as I was unable to do anything at all.  So in the end, allowing him free rein on it, was necessary.

Any hoo.  I feel better now.  So am aiming to be less of a grumpy moany old arse!

I figured that some of my affirmations did not fit my ill state, and that  - actually to be up and on all the time is nonsense and a pressure that no one can adhere to, without crashing and  burning.  So am going to honour my feelings more and rest up if necessary.

I also got some feedback on the workshop i did.  2 bits.  one good and one bad. I am obsessing about the bad bit of feedback of course.  Its hard in a large group, and this person, needed more personal attention really.  So my learnings going forward on it, is that I need to even more, explain the context and what they might hope to get out of it.  Setting expectations more realistically.  I need to slow down my delivery, and I want to ask more questions and elicit more answers from the room.  I also want to make them do some more of the exercises with their cards.

This week  -well this weekend we are in Suffolk with my family.  I intend to enjoy this time, feel relaxed, easeful.  I will practice kindness and generosity.  This week my intentions will be to do all of that, plus a drawing I have been commissioned to do.