Its 8.30 and actually I have a lot to do before 9am. oh shit. time flies. I got all embroiled in a debate on FB. it was started by someone i have acatually blocked because he was just so provocative and then I would get all heated and into arguments and I realised that it was just what he wanted and wasted my time. and this was a sort of off shoot thread by someone who really got offended by him and I got embroiled in that. godsake. 20 minutes of my life arguing a point that will not every persuade anyone and just provoke a slew of righteousness.
It happened when trump was elected and I got all embroiled in a thread about white feminists and spiritual people should back off from getting involved in anything race related because, well what the fuck does a privileged white person know. it was pretty enlightening in many ways. though also deeply depressing. because -WTF does a privileged white person who cares do? Well, what I learned was - to listen. And that is all. Obviously there is stuff I don't do, like be an outright bigot or racist. But some folk will not listen to me. They will certainly not have any truck with any complaints from me about not being listened to! And I also learned that not ALL non privileged folk think some of the more extreme views. And that there is a whole range of responses to - well, me.
Anyway, there went 20 minutes of my time. Jumping in to defend "ALL MEN" or - specifically "all men in yoga' - who are apparently mostly secret misoginists. And you know what. Some are, some are merely interpolated into a system of patriarchy as we all are. Some are unable to listen - well this particular chap who I blocked is, despite the fact that he starts up truly controversial debates ALL THE TIME. And maybe so too are the angry feminists who he stirs up with his comments. And you know what - the angry feminists are angry for a reason and they just want to be heard. And the privileged white man just wants to be heard too. But on the scale of things, his whinging about not being heard doesn't cut much slack with the angry feminists. Because. Well, he has his white male privilege. And it bothers me that there is all this arguing. And it bothers me, as a feminist that some men are so ashamed of themselves. I have a husband and a son whom I love. I would hate them to feel hated just because they are men. And it bothers me that some men just do not listen to the "other" experience. I guess after all this rambling, that the only thing to do is listen. And I personally do not agree that 'all men in yoga hate women'. Not listening is not the same as hating. Though it is obviously very annoying. So. lesson = listen. LISTEN is the best thing that can be done for everyone everywhere, especially to the less privileged. Because the less privileged do not get heard as much. Perhaps that is the whole thing with privilege. It means your voice gets heard. People will listen when you speak, and value your experience in the world. You count and matter. And of course we all count and matter, only in society, some count and matter more - and therein lies the privilege and the predjudice.
Maybe I understand something more from all of this. And that is just me. But listening to the 'other' and not refuting their experience or comparing it with my own, or translating it into my own experience or anything. Just listening.
I had better get ready to go
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