Inspirational Women?

A friend of mine mentioned that I might be interested in going to a conference called, something like, Inspirational Women.  Maybe it was Amazing Women?  Marvellous women? Something along those lines.  I thought it sounded great and looked into it, especially as it was going to be held in Brighton.  When I found out about it, I discoverd the roster of speakers were all women who had overcome something horrible.  Whether that was getting out of a war torn country alive or overcoming bulimia.  ALL of them were survivors, they had succeeded against the odds. 

And for some reason it really wound me up and put me right off going. 

I mean, its great that they have, and thank god they did,  and definately inspirational to anyone suffering the same sort of shit. Or even similar but different shit.  But why is it so often like this?  Especially when its women? Why is it that "inpsirational women" stories are so often about overcoming shit. 

I even feel like some sort of bitch writing this!  But something grates.  It all smacks of the stories in comics I used to devour as a kid.  It was the similarity of the themes that, looking back, I find kind of odd and slightly disturbing.   

These were titles such as Bunty, and Jinty, and Misty.  Preteen comics for girls. And  I loved them.  I would buy them in bundles, second hand, like box sets and not stop until I had finished.  They were all incredibly long sagas about talented gymnasts / ice skaters / ballet dancers  who were cruelly abused / injured / cast out into dire poverty and deprivation.  They all suffered, yet were never bitter, and they kept struggling against the odds and then finally - FINALLY -  they would win the gymnastics / ice skating / ballet competitions and prove to everyone how brilliant they were - and often gain back their family and love and acceptance and  - most satisfyingly of all - this would also put the nasty girls in their place.  All in one glorious finale. Yes I loved it.  And something in me still kind of does, in the same way, something in me still likes pink glittery things.

But it is the fact that the stories were long and  95% about the suffering part that bothers me.  How these girls were so good, so patient, never angry, always kind, and always striving, and struggling.

Is it me? Is it every girl, who loves, just loves a tale of cruel unfair treatment rounded off with a triumph against adversity?  What is it about these stories? Is it something ingrained?? Is it Cinderella? Snow White? Rapunzel?

And why did that "Inspirational Women" conference get my goat so much? 

I am not sure, but it bugs me.  It bugs me because somehow it is a particularly "women" type of thing.  Something that only women find inspiring and really celebrate.  Even if the women who lived these stories do overcome the obstacles.  Its that they have to pass through this realm of being the victim to succeed.  And often they do go on to be massive sucesses in their field....

I wonder sometimes if there isn't too much revelling in the shit bits.  Too much gory detail about the suffering.  As if women love to get together and bond in suffering.  Why can't we just skip to the 'being a massive success in their field' bit? 

Maybe my real gripe is that, what if you  haven't overcome a disaster, a debilitating condition or somehow hauled yourself back from the brink of the abyss?  What if you really are OK.  To start off with?  Is that boring?  I am wondering, Does there have to have this story of terrible deprivation in order to have a good story?  Particularly to women? You know, like Oprah type of interesting?

I think I am starting to want a different type of story.  One where it starts at OK.  Where inspirational doesn't need to get its justification via suffering.

OR Maybe I just want to be interesting without having to suffer.



P.S.  I do not in any way want to put down anyone who has suffered, or is suffering.  And I know it is inspiring to hear about people who succeed against the odds  - men or women. 

some pictures

Because
I am loving my new bedlinen.]
It was Bub's birthday.  He is 5 and loves superheroes
I spent a day making art (HURRAH!)

Other stuff is that I am organising a sale of nearly new baby and kids stuff.  The baby thing for me is OVER am just absolutely definately not having another one.  so the STUFF.....  Its all got to go.  And SO  - make space for the new in my life.  Also its kind of a green thing to do, and its community and am supporting the local breast feeding drop in charity, which helped me a lot when Bub was a little un.  So it feels good.

Am still switching and simplifying my finances.  Blimey what a messy pile of paperwork this task is.  Recently I Got out of and rid of tesco bank and ALL barclaycards.  And am in process of selling my shares (in various banks, all gained from building society sell offs, so totally toxic in my book these days) I shall either be buying shares in something ethical, or using the money to pay off barclays bank as part of getting shot of them too.

In the house, we are rather delighted to have a new cooker.  When I say new....  Second hand, of course. But its rather stylish we think.  retro stylish anyways.  We likey.  will take a picture of that too.... Its From the parents, who are moving house, and seem to have spares of most everything to get rid of.  We already have a fridge, a freezer and a cooker.  And now we just need to find space for a dishwasher......

oh, its good to write.  I thought I had nothing to say (some would say I still don't! ha!) but I do.  Lots of stuff going on.  Its Likemind tomorrow.  I like that.  Its late though so I need to head to bed.  goodnight!

The Jump

a poem by Maya Stein

The Jump

The longer I stood on the platform, of course, the colder
the water became, the bed of small stones underneath
morphing into a sharp and catastrophic boulder.
I waited, shivering, gathering my guts through clenched teeth.
I don’t know, exactly, what it takes to make the jump,
what passageway we pull through to steel ourselves for departure.
The language for courage is so stripped of words, a lump
of a secret only the heart knows the translation to. And yet, unsure
as we are, we recognize the call from down below, and find the edge and leap
even when we don’t. Once we wake up, we can never fall asleep.

happy and lucky

sometimes I just write too much really.  rambling on.  yeah yeah yeah... 

so more of it.

Its been a good week I reckon.  I can't even remember what happened on Monday, but on Tuesday I went up to London to do follow up 121s with folk at Channel 4.  Some of them were off sick, which meant I started late, finished early and had a gap in the middle in which I accidentally bought some fantastic new bedlinen, half price + -10% at House of Fraser.  oops.  again this frugal thing is definately out the window.  not ideal, but seriously great bedlinen.  Will post photos!!

Then my dear friends who run this splendid bar in Ibiza called Hidden (its a secret dontcha know) are over for 2 days for London Cocktail week.  And so I managed to hook up with them (Groucho Club, followed by Lab) and drink too many cocktails.  Luckily I had to leave at 9pm otherwise I would have been in trouble with a hangover the next day.

I hosted a Neals Yard product evening on Wednesday night, which ought to have been clever as in, I got quite a lot of lovely freebies for being the host, but then I find it difficult to control my orders and spent a lot on extremely lovely bubble bath and body creams.  They are, at least, totally organic and very ethical as a company.  So that's alright then......

Today I got the keys for a venue for a yoga class I am covering on Monday, did some phone catch ups with a Channel 4 person, bought up kids party food and prepared for more catch ups tomorrow.  Slightly early start tomorrow.  But am totally pre prepared.

I need to block out my ART time in my calendar.  Time flies.  Its a shocker! 

But I am still really happy.  And just enjoying life so much.  I feel extremely lucky.

getting greener every day

Which brings me to my compost bin.  Because I am really happy about it.

My blog is really all about  finding happiness.  And for me, this is a lot about aligning what i do, what I say and what I think into one.  I am definately about manifesting dreams, and working towards goals and getting stuff done.  And I had this aim, generally.  To be Greener. 

Over this summer I have made a few little shifts and switches that have made some real changes. 

I switched to Ecotricity (with their 100% green tarriff)  We now have 100% footprint free energy in our home.  I know that Good Energy are excellent as well.  And we may try them next year. Or swap our money between them on alternate years.  This will be more expensive ( hopefully not too much!!) but I hope to off set this with being more careful with energy use!! Perhaps an unexpected benefit of the change which will help us use even less energy!  But a side benefit has been with the customer services.  When I ring Ecotricity,  there is no 20 minute wait to speak to someone. And the folk on the phone sound happy to help.  I like to think that they are working there because it matters to them, the aim of their company.  This is suppositiion, but I think I will ask next time I ring up!  I know that Good Energy have won awards for being a great place to work.  I like this. 

We signed up to a veg box scheme.  I went with Abel & Cole, mainly because I got home one day and there was a flyer been put through the door with a good offer on it.   I felt a bit that I ought go to a more local one, but have been told that Abel & Cole are really very good with sourcing from local farmers and directly and so on.  I hope this is true.  Likewise this matters to me.  I HATE that the supermarkets drive down the price to the farmers and treat them so badly.  I like that there are companies that don't operate like this.  Again, yes it IS more expensive.  We are not 100% avoiding supermarkets yet.  But it also has some unexpected side benefits. 

I had read a blog called The Rubbish Diet.  Where one woman set out to reduce the amount she sent to landfill.  By various means.  Recycling, composting etc.  And the Veg box scheme, where by the boxes and even polythene bags get sent back to be re used.  Where the packaging, if any, is compostible  or recyclable.  And this has reduced our bin bags - really remarkably!  Its amazing actually.  About 1-2 bin bags less PER WEEK! 

 And as from today,  we have (a part of) an allotment.  And a compost bin.  And so I reckon we will be down to 1 bin bag a week pretty soon.

And lastly.  Banking.  Perhaps the last word in bad ways to be in the world. (though a speaker at the Meaning Conference- I forget who - Said that perhaps one day we will THANK the bankers for f8cking it all up SO very badly.  BEcause it has made us THINK of other ways of doing things.....

Because you tend to think that there is nothing you can do in this area.  We all need money.  We need banking.  But we can still make choices.  And so I am making progress in terms of switching where our money goes.  We are mainly with the Cooperative Bank for day to day banking.  I am closing down my rate whore accounts which got me into Tesco Banking etc.  I will be selling my shares (gains from the sell off of building societies - am SO against that now!) And our savings will be in Triodos.  I reckon I will be working up to putting investments into funding circles and such (when we have more money!!)  And in general looking at the alternatives.


All these things are something I have been thinking about for a LONG time.  It is most gratifying,, Enjoyable and happy making to be DOING something about them all.

tribes

I am very very happy at the moment.  Its beautiful.  I am happy in my relationships, in my work and in my life.  I am still ringing with the energy I gathered from hanging out with my likeminded or perhaps I should say likehearted souls at the Call of the Wild Soul art retreat.  3 days with nothing to do but be freely creative is just my favourite ever thing to do.  And it was lovely to sink into the spirit of it all, to be intuitive, feel and do and get into flow, be absorbed in doing, creating, making art.  Definately my very very happy place. 

And then to come back and leap straight into the Meaning Conference. Which showed me that it is not just creative women who think and believe and want to act the way I do.  This was a conference organised by one of Brighton's leading social media companies, Nixon McInnes.  I had met Will McInnes at one of People Who Do's inventing days back in the spring.  And he had enthused about the importance of 'breaking bread together' and it had made a big impact on me then.  It was a joy to see this scaled up to a confernce of nearly 200 people, where lunch was provided at refectory style tables and we sat and chatted to whomsoever was near us.  I met two really fab ladies from a London Law company, who had persuaded their bosses that they needed to come to hear about what was current in workplace practices.

But it was the underlying intent of the conference that really inspired me. It was a dream made manifest.  It was totally and utterly congruent with the ethos behind the Business Soul Sessions  run by Kelly Rae Roberts and Beth Nichols earlier this year. 

It was about saving the planet.  It was about saving ourselves.  It was about making our lives happier, by connecting more, by having a bigger purpose, a more meaningful story.  We had speakers who urged us to 'do something different' to grow vegetables in our window boxes and the verges of the town.  To take action.  To make the differene.  To connect and work together to create our own better future.

I left feeling excited and enthused.  And proud.  PROUD to be from Brighton.  Proud to be 'a Person who DOES'  (that is what it says on my business card) who works for People Who Do.  Making a difference in people's lives.  Making a difference in mine. And doing what I can, with what I have, where I am. 

INspired!!

I am slowly getting back to earth after a rather splendid and hectic and input heavy few days.  A LOT has happened.  Firstly I went to the Call of the Wild Soul art retreat in Somerset.  It was bloody brilliant. 3 days of fervent creativity, connecting and fun times. Refreshed in my heart.  Poetically reconnected

Then a 5 hour drive back (via Gatwick, gave Flora Bowley a lift  - so fab to have such great company!) and the next day I am straight into a conference called Meaning.  WOW.  am even more fired up and inspired than I was before.  Such brilliant, inspirational speakers.  Such a good message to the world.  Am so PROUD of Brighton.

And then on Tuesday straight into delivering a Productivity workshop at Channel 4.  Under supervision, I am hoping for the last time.  I am pleased with how it went (I ROCK!) and what with the yoga class I taught the day before I left for Somerset, I am starting to find my voice, my feet and joy in my work, my teaching. 

It has been a journey this teaching thing. Truly I have conquered something, over come something, climbed some sort of mountain, or learnt to swim or something.  From terror to enjoyment.  Leaping to my death, and of course, not dying.    Not dying but finding its all just fine.  What was I worried about?  Crazy.  

Now I am sure I am not at the end of the road with this.  And there is an infinite amount of improvement I can make.  But definitely definitely, I have expanded my range.  Am now a living example of fighting my way through the internal backchat, facing a fear and facing it down. 

Yesterday I could hardly function to be honest, and these supposedly LONG LONG days of wee Bub being at school, seem to fly by.  Its already time to fetch him.  And I still have so much to do.

I may even be working back at the BBC next week.  Bit of a surprise to be called up by them, but it could work out that I have a FULL week of work next week.  Which will do our finances the world of good.  Am taking Teesha Moore's advice and doing a proper positive affirmation on this.  I have the power to earn all the money I need or want........