What is working?
Greece worked. I went to Greece. I did yoga every day. I met fascinating and fun folk. I learned stuff i needed to learn. I love a jaunt. It refreshes and recharges my energies.
I love my husband very much
I love my son very much
I am happy to be home.
Wednesday, 26 April 2017
Thursday, 20 April 2017
Stop. Start. Continue
So my task for today is to consider what, in my life, will I Stop / Start / Continue.
However today and right now I am only going to consider what I will continue.
Basically. What is working.
Because stuff IS working.
I am going to continue......
Meditating - because it give me a feeling of spaciousness. I like it. Exploring nothing. Something magical and making something of nothing about it.
Art. Art journaling. Because I love it.
Reading to my son, because we both enjoy it.
Encouraging him to play the violin. Because sticking at something and getting better at it is a good thing.
Miracle Mornings. I have kind of stopped, but I will be continuing. For me my health is paramount and the feeling of tiredness I have due to illness needs to be overcome. But the elements of reading, writing, meditating are all continuing. Getting up early and exercise will continue because it was good and is good and I like how it makes me feel.
Coaching Circle mastermind. I love our wee group - I love our common goals and interest and yet our diverse ins to the same thing. We all bring something unique to the table. Its good.
Going to the pub and drinking wine with friends. Because its fun and I enjoy the connection and laughs.
The path of alternative education. Because I feel kind of fired up about it.
there is more. but am going out to drink wine! ha!
However today and right now I am only going to consider what I will continue.
Basically. What is working.
Because stuff IS working.
I am going to continue......
Meditating - because it give me a feeling of spaciousness. I like it. Exploring nothing. Something magical and making something of nothing about it.
Art. Art journaling. Because I love it.
Reading to my son, because we both enjoy it.
Encouraging him to play the violin. Because sticking at something and getting better at it is a good thing.
Miracle Mornings. I have kind of stopped, but I will be continuing. For me my health is paramount and the feeling of tiredness I have due to illness needs to be overcome. But the elements of reading, writing, meditating are all continuing. Getting up early and exercise will continue because it was good and is good and I like how it makes me feel.
Coaching Circle mastermind. I love our wee group - I love our common goals and interest and yet our diverse ins to the same thing. We all bring something unique to the table. Its good.
Going to the pub and drinking wine with friends. Because its fun and I enjoy the connection and laughs.
The path of alternative education. Because I feel kind of fired up about it.
there is more. but am going out to drink wine! ha!
Wednesday, 19 April 2017
reflection
so a superpower of creating something out of nothing. or anything. something amazing out of anything.
that's a good thing. The down side would be the fabrication of something out of nothing. A story of a slight, a mountain of a molehill, a relationship out of a glance, a something bad where there was nothing.
Reflection on yesterday.
What went well? ( I was about to start with lambasting myself for all sorts of things! habits! but let me focus on what went well instead. Because there is stuff there!)
It was lovely day. I was primary childcare person yesterday. Bub and I went to the cinema to see a (meh) film called Boss Baby, we had a yummy lunch at Wai Kika Moo Kau.
I remembered to buy vegetables for our roast and pop into Archers on the way up the hill.
The weather was good.
I took Bub and his friend B to the park, and they had an excellent time. I enjoyed sitting in the sun and thinking about stuff. I figured out that the very next step for the back room / House Beautiful project is to measure for the carpet and google local places that might do off cuts. Its a teeny room so I am hoping that somewhere will have a better carpet than I might otherwise want to spend money on in the form of an offcut. Then I need to find a carpet fitter and book that in. Before the carpet fitter comes, I need to have had the room painted. I have put some time in my calendar to prep the room and get the paint I need. I need to google the chap who goes to Ikea for you and get 2 sets of Billy shelves. Desk and shelving need to be aquired and built in. And a chair. This is going to be a Hub den and spare room, so am thinking that a more comfy Hub chair might be a good idea. And maybe a tartan blind, rather than curtains. Hmm. Another thing to fix.
Had a nice chat with B's mum and then after dinner we all went to the Hanover Pub with them for a few drinks. Had a meaty chat about the election and the state of education in this country and came home and watched 2 episodes of Catastrophe.
I did do 20 mins meditation. I wrote my reflection and I read some stuff. (am reading a book about education / how to be a good parent by Michael Rosen) I walked - i reckon - at least 10,000 steps.
I read a really useful blog piece by Ebonie Allard about the 4 stages of business. It was a link on FB so I need to find that and link to it here.
Could do with some work.....
I am no longer doing the MM and I feel pretty shitty about it. I am also still feeling ill. Which is my excuse on that whole thing. I did do some of it. So. the improvement action is to slowly get back to the whole thing. Am writing, reading and meditating. Pick up with the exercise and the visualisation. Also timing. Am lax on that, which makes me feel sprawling and disorganised. So if I time things, I can achieve stuff in less time and feel better about it.
I need to charge my fitbit so I can tell how many steps I did.
today if I do nothing else, then I do need to do some marketing for my Wild Art Journaling - now I have times, but I don't have clients yet! More of that needed.
I want to get a folder for my learnings on business together so I can keep track of it all.
that's a good thing. The down side would be the fabrication of something out of nothing. A story of a slight, a mountain of a molehill, a relationship out of a glance, a something bad where there was nothing.
Reflection on yesterday.
What went well? ( I was about to start with lambasting myself for all sorts of things! habits! but let me focus on what went well instead. Because there is stuff there!)
It was lovely day. I was primary childcare person yesterday. Bub and I went to the cinema to see a (meh) film called Boss Baby, we had a yummy lunch at Wai Kika Moo Kau.
I remembered to buy vegetables for our roast and pop into Archers on the way up the hill.
The weather was good.
I took Bub and his friend B to the park, and they had an excellent time. I enjoyed sitting in the sun and thinking about stuff. I figured out that the very next step for the back room / House Beautiful project is to measure for the carpet and google local places that might do off cuts. Its a teeny room so I am hoping that somewhere will have a better carpet than I might otherwise want to spend money on in the form of an offcut. Then I need to find a carpet fitter and book that in. Before the carpet fitter comes, I need to have had the room painted. I have put some time in my calendar to prep the room and get the paint I need. I need to google the chap who goes to Ikea for you and get 2 sets of Billy shelves. Desk and shelving need to be aquired and built in. And a chair. This is going to be a Hub den and spare room, so am thinking that a more comfy Hub chair might be a good idea. And maybe a tartan blind, rather than curtains. Hmm. Another thing to fix.
Had a nice chat with B's mum and then after dinner we all went to the Hanover Pub with them for a few drinks. Had a meaty chat about the election and the state of education in this country and came home and watched 2 episodes of Catastrophe.
I did do 20 mins meditation. I wrote my reflection and I read some stuff. (am reading a book about education / how to be a good parent by Michael Rosen) I walked - i reckon - at least 10,000 steps.
I read a really useful blog piece by Ebonie Allard about the 4 stages of business. It was a link on FB so I need to find that and link to it here.
Could do with some work.....
I am no longer doing the MM and I feel pretty shitty about it. I am also still feeling ill. Which is my excuse on that whole thing. I did do some of it. So. the improvement action is to slowly get back to the whole thing. Am writing, reading and meditating. Pick up with the exercise and the visualisation. Also timing. Am lax on that, which makes me feel sprawling and disorganised. So if I time things, I can achieve stuff in less time and feel better about it.
I need to charge my fitbit so I can tell how many steps I did.
today if I do nothing else, then I do need to do some marketing for my Wild Art Journaling - now I have times, but I don't have clients yet! More of that needed.
I want to get a folder for my learnings on business together so I can keep track of it all.
My Superpower is
I was looking at andrea Sher's super hero podcasts.
And I am thinking. If someone asked me what my super power is.
I would say.
My super power is, making something out of nothing. I can create from whatever I find around me.
Meals from whatever is there, art from whatever is there, a party with just me attending.
I would like to say it is 'pure magical energy and connection between souls' but in truth that is something that I enjoy the most in the world. Or the stuff I crave, and seek in the world.
I am not sure if those things are my superpower.
Sometimes I also wish i had the power to create something from stuff that I had specially chosen, the finest ingredients, the best of the best, so that I could create something out of the somethings that I had already created, with a purpose and a mission to build something huge and brilliant.
Perhaps I can cultivate that. Perhaps I just keep creating until that happens. Perhaps that is already happening.
And I am thinking. If someone asked me what my super power is.
I would say.
My super power is, making something out of nothing. I can create from whatever I find around me.
Meals from whatever is there, art from whatever is there, a party with just me attending.
I would like to say it is 'pure magical energy and connection between souls' but in truth that is something that I enjoy the most in the world. Or the stuff I crave, and seek in the world.
I am not sure if those things are my superpower.
Sometimes I also wish i had the power to create something from stuff that I had specially chosen, the finest ingredients, the best of the best, so that I could create something out of the somethings that I had already created, with a purpose and a mission to build something huge and brilliant.
Perhaps I can cultivate that. Perhaps I just keep creating until that happens. Perhaps that is already happening.
brief update
Briefly as I am roped into going to see Boss Baby this morning. I hate being roped into things, but Bub wants to go and Hub wants us out of the house so he can "work". Ha he would be furious if he saw I had " " 'd that. He is working, though he has lots of breaks to do things like, update his diary, read books, and watch SNL on you tube.
We have been away in Suffolk visiting my folks. We all went, and it went very well.
What worked for me, was to not get worked up about anything, just to be present and put my focus on making it easy for everyone and myself, not trying to control the situation and make it best for everyone. Hub struggles outside of his own comfort (control) zone so I decided to be supportive of him and not annoyed that it all should be different. I have to say it was a very effective strategy and just goes to show that we cause a large part of our own suffering by fighting against what is.
I haven't been very on it with the MM or the exercise or the anything really. I haven't felt very well, or I have felt very tired since last week.
ANd it was easter and there was too much chocolate and wine and all that sort of thing. I am definitely giving myself a break over it all, and not fretting too much. I feel a tad - lost focus and lost committment and what the hell happened to doing it even if I don't feel like it.
This morning I did actually press snooze. Which is a huge MM no no. I guess I will feel better soon, that or, I will do it, even if I don't feel like it, and that will make me feel better? One of the two.
Bub is being 'challenging'. I mean he isn't really, but there is a lot of contrariness going on. And stuff we suggest is dissed and he is lolling about being 'bored' which I can't stand. Hub then gets cross about their being no 'structure' which pissed me off as I continually providing 'structure' means that we are generating the entertainment for Bub who is passive enough as it is. Or - he is passive and then, doesn't want to do anything. And then gets bored. But then last night as I was reading to him, he came out with loads of knowledge about rare butterflies. And this morning he told me that he discovered this himself by reading a book he picked up at the library. He's a dark horse is bub. None of your usual kid in your face look at me, energy bunny, I want to do this and that. More that he does things his own, way, and in secret. Funny wee chap. Find him really hard to know how to parent best sometimes. Bless him.
There is something about those damn nintendo games that obsess him and then, after a while of playing them, he is listless and bored and sad, and doesn't want to engage in anything, other than maybe watching you tube videos of someone else playing that game, or maybe watching TV. Sometimes I think he needs to have space, to just hang out and not be hassled into things or structure, so that he can gather himself and be bored for a bit, and - well, be spacious. I am glad we did nothing yesterday. I think - he needs that sometimes.
Anyway, not much looking forward to Boss Baby. Will let you know how it goes.
We have been away in Suffolk visiting my folks. We all went, and it went very well.
What worked for me, was to not get worked up about anything, just to be present and put my focus on making it easy for everyone and myself, not trying to control the situation and make it best for everyone. Hub struggles outside of his own comfort (control) zone so I decided to be supportive of him and not annoyed that it all should be different. I have to say it was a very effective strategy and just goes to show that we cause a large part of our own suffering by fighting against what is.
I haven't been very on it with the MM or the exercise or the anything really. I haven't felt very well, or I have felt very tired since last week.
ANd it was easter and there was too much chocolate and wine and all that sort of thing. I am definitely giving myself a break over it all, and not fretting too much. I feel a tad - lost focus and lost committment and what the hell happened to doing it even if I don't feel like it.
This morning I did actually press snooze. Which is a huge MM no no. I guess I will feel better soon, that or, I will do it, even if I don't feel like it, and that will make me feel better? One of the two.
Bub is being 'challenging'. I mean he isn't really, but there is a lot of contrariness going on. And stuff we suggest is dissed and he is lolling about being 'bored' which I can't stand. Hub then gets cross about their being no 'structure' which pissed me off as I continually providing 'structure' means that we are generating the entertainment for Bub who is passive enough as it is. Or - he is passive and then, doesn't want to do anything. And then gets bored. But then last night as I was reading to him, he came out with loads of knowledge about rare butterflies. And this morning he told me that he discovered this himself by reading a book he picked up at the library. He's a dark horse is bub. None of your usual kid in your face look at me, energy bunny, I want to do this and that. More that he does things his own, way, and in secret. Funny wee chap. Find him really hard to know how to parent best sometimes. Bless him.
There is something about those damn nintendo games that obsess him and then, after a while of playing them, he is listless and bored and sad, and doesn't want to engage in anything, other than maybe watching you tube videos of someone else playing that game, or maybe watching TV. Sometimes I think he needs to have space, to just hang out and not be hassled into things or structure, so that he can gather himself and be bored for a bit, and - well, be spacious. I am glad we did nothing yesterday. I think - he needs that sometimes.
Anyway, not much looking forward to Boss Baby. Will let you know how it goes.
Friday, 14 April 2017
Good Friday Reflections
So, I missed a few huh. I had been very very consistent on this miracle morning thing. And then it fell. I did 41 completions according to my habit app!. This week I was ill, I felt exhausted, I lost my mojo. Turns out it was also full moon, and yesterday I got my period. So go figure. It all went.
I decided in all this that I am not going to give up or give myself a hard time about it. I needed to rest up. Big time. So I did. Also physically I was ill, and that is definitely what my body needed to do. And I am glad I did because today I can feel my energies coming back.
So I took care of myself.
What wasn't so ace about all this, was that I was pretty grumpy to my family. I was not able, it felt, to remain or retain my equanimity. I lost that too. I hope that they will forgive me, but I wasn't very nice and I wish that next time I am ill, that I can retain my - kindness, gratitude and - well not be such a grumpy arse. I picked fault at any occasion to be honest, I was unable to deal with my son and his obsession with his video game, mainly as I was unable to do anything at all. So in the end, allowing him free rein on it, was necessary.
Any hoo. I feel better now. So am aiming to be less of a grumpy moany old arse!
I figured that some of my affirmations did not fit my ill state, and that - actually to be up and on all the time is nonsense and a pressure that no one can adhere to, without crashing and burning. So am going to honour my feelings more and rest up if necessary.
I also got some feedback on the workshop i did. 2 bits. one good and one bad. I am obsessing about the bad bit of feedback of course. Its hard in a large group, and this person, needed more personal attention really. So my learnings going forward on it, is that I need to even more, explain the context and what they might hope to get out of it. Setting expectations more realistically. I need to slow down my delivery, and I want to ask more questions and elicit more answers from the room. I also want to make them do some more of the exercises with their cards.
This week -well this weekend we are in Suffolk with my family. I intend to enjoy this time, feel relaxed, easeful. I will practice kindness and generosity. This week my intentions will be to do all of that, plus a drawing I have been commissioned to do.
I decided in all this that I am not going to give up or give myself a hard time about it. I needed to rest up. Big time. So I did. Also physically I was ill, and that is definitely what my body needed to do. And I am glad I did because today I can feel my energies coming back.
So I took care of myself.
What wasn't so ace about all this, was that I was pretty grumpy to my family. I was not able, it felt, to remain or retain my equanimity. I lost that too. I hope that they will forgive me, but I wasn't very nice and I wish that next time I am ill, that I can retain my - kindness, gratitude and - well not be such a grumpy arse. I picked fault at any occasion to be honest, I was unable to deal with my son and his obsession with his video game, mainly as I was unable to do anything at all. So in the end, allowing him free rein on it, was necessary.
Any hoo. I feel better now. So am aiming to be less of a grumpy moany old arse!
I figured that some of my affirmations did not fit my ill state, and that - actually to be up and on all the time is nonsense and a pressure that no one can adhere to, without crashing and burning. So am going to honour my feelings more and rest up if necessary.
I also got some feedback on the workshop i did. 2 bits. one good and one bad. I am obsessing about the bad bit of feedback of course. Its hard in a large group, and this person, needed more personal attention really. So my learnings going forward on it, is that I need to even more, explain the context and what they might hope to get out of it. Setting expectations more realistically. I need to slow down my delivery, and I want to ask more questions and elicit more answers from the room. I also want to make them do some more of the exercises with their cards.
This week -well this weekend we are in Suffolk with my family. I intend to enjoy this time, feel relaxed, easeful. I will practice kindness and generosity. This week my intentions will be to do all of that, plus a drawing I have been commissioned to do.
Sunday, 9 April 2017
Sunday morning reflections
What went well (yesterday!)
Oh we had a fantastic family trip to the theatre. We went to see a remaking of the musical Thoroughly Modern Millie at the Theatre Royal.
We had front row seats in the gallery -which was very very very very high up and exciting in itself! Millie was played by Joanne Clifton from Strictly, and - she was really good! The music was fantastic the show was funny and had a surprising twist at the end. And Mrs Meers was a man.
Such good fun. Proper cheering and standing ovation at the end and everything.
I took on cleaning the kitchen doors. They were splattered with plaster and dust, and in fact had never really been properly cleaned since the house was painted, so there were teeny tiny splatters of charcoal coloured paint all over them as well. But I did it. They are done.
What could go better.
We seem to have an impasse with the whole 'tidy house' thing. Its just overwhelming to me and to Hub and - I'm not sure we can every get back to tidy. Hub got all - there's no hope ever - about it. Which doesn't help. He pulled himself together and devised a 15 minutes a day, generally, plus a 15 minutes focused area plan, which must include 5 minutes of actually planning.
We have very different working styles which is a problem. He likes a plan. Or, he likes to be in charge. (see how I am taking this?) I like to just get started and what needs to be done is self evident in my eyes.
Also we need a really bigger picture plan, more like a project plan to get the back room back into play. It was gutted and decorated, but not finished, which has meant that my 'office' is now distributed around the house. And the back room still needs to be. 1. decorated 2. carpet fitted 3. bed bought, 4. aquired 5 shelver aquired. (these last things also need decisions made around what size, kind and where they are to go.
Pictures are in there, which need to be put up in the kitchen. And all the pictures from the hallway need to be re hung. Its not a little task. And once all those things are in place, we may have a better chance at keeping the place tidy.
And then there is the garden. ALL OF THIS. requires time and effort and decisions and planning. And Hub and I do not work easily together. And because its so huge, its easy to get overwhelmed and then nothing gets done.
So - I think the best thing to do will be to have a planning session using the blank playing cards. What needs to happen when etc. The priority I think is to get the back bedroom into play as Hub's office and a spare room.
The first thing that can be done today is to rehang the kitchen pictures.
We could also do with a shed in the garden. For the guinea pigs. But also for all my art stuff. Which is grown enormous. It feels really overwhelming I must say. This is on top of all the general day to day cooking, cleaning and tidying. Work and parenting as well
No wonder we feel overwhelmed. I think we need a master list and a plan.
Oh we had a fantastic family trip to the theatre. We went to see a remaking of the musical Thoroughly Modern Millie at the Theatre Royal.
We had front row seats in the gallery -which was very very very very high up and exciting in itself! Millie was played by Joanne Clifton from Strictly, and - she was really good! The music was fantastic the show was funny and had a surprising twist at the end. And Mrs Meers was a man.
Such good fun. Proper cheering and standing ovation at the end and everything.
I took on cleaning the kitchen doors. They were splattered with plaster and dust, and in fact had never really been properly cleaned since the house was painted, so there were teeny tiny splatters of charcoal coloured paint all over them as well. But I did it. They are done.
What could go better.
We seem to have an impasse with the whole 'tidy house' thing. Its just overwhelming to me and to Hub and - I'm not sure we can every get back to tidy. Hub got all - there's no hope ever - about it. Which doesn't help. He pulled himself together and devised a 15 minutes a day, generally, plus a 15 minutes focused area plan, which must include 5 minutes of actually planning.
We have very different working styles which is a problem. He likes a plan. Or, he likes to be in charge. (see how I am taking this?) I like to just get started and what needs to be done is self evident in my eyes.
Also we need a really bigger picture plan, more like a project plan to get the back room back into play. It was gutted and decorated, but not finished, which has meant that my 'office' is now distributed around the house. And the back room still needs to be. 1. decorated 2. carpet fitted 3. bed bought, 4. aquired 5 shelver aquired. (these last things also need decisions made around what size, kind and where they are to go.
Pictures are in there, which need to be put up in the kitchen. And all the pictures from the hallway need to be re hung. Its not a little task. And once all those things are in place, we may have a better chance at keeping the place tidy.
And then there is the garden. ALL OF THIS. requires time and effort and decisions and planning. And Hub and I do not work easily together. And because its so huge, its easy to get overwhelmed and then nothing gets done.
So - I think the best thing to do will be to have a planning session using the blank playing cards. What needs to happen when etc. The priority I think is to get the back bedroom into play as Hub's office and a spare room.
The first thing that can be done today is to rehang the kitchen pictures.
We could also do with a shed in the garden. For the guinea pigs. But also for all my art stuff. Which is grown enormous. It feels really overwhelming I must say. This is on top of all the general day to day cooking, cleaning and tidying. Work and parenting as well
No wonder we feel overwhelmed. I think we need a master list and a plan.
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