Be the Change You wAnt to See in the World.
WHat change do you want to see? How can you be that.
I have thought about this today. And mainly I want the world to be kinder and forgive more. So that is what I have to be.
Hub is about to watch Dr Who. He is too excited about it. Bub is being very very contrary. Me? I'm outta here in 4 minutes as I am going baby sitting.
I hope for everyone's sake that Bub stays in his room and plays lego while I am gone.
Saturday, 23 August 2014
Saturday, 9 August 2014
Good questions
One of my favourite bloggers is 101 birdtales. Her experimental art e course was one of the first I ever did and I really enjoyed it. I am also a big fan of her stance on being an artist / getting an education (see this post here about DIY art school)
I just read her recent post about collaboration. Or maybe she is just asking for help. Is that the same thing? Maybe it is the same thing, but it made me realise that collaboration is something I really enjoy.
I am currently collaborating with The Wright Stuff and we have a rather marvellous and very exciting idea, which involves taking art and creativity into the world of business. Its such a joy to be working with someone who totally gets it and can add to what I know and what I can do. I am sure you will hear more about it as it progresses. Its early stages and we have yet to name ourselves. Naming it seems is a thing.
I digress again. Collaboration. At my last job my title was 'Principle Collaborator' which my friend thought sounded rather like something baddies did during the war. But despite that, I liked it. I like the idea of collaboration. In fact.
I think that life is about finding the right folk to collaborate with.
Anyway, I rather liked the way Amelia's post ended up. With a few questions.
OH and QUESTIONS. in general. I am really into questions at the moment. As in, How life is also all about knowing what questions to ask.
Sorry, I digress (again) . Amelia's questions, they are
I just read her recent post about collaboration. Or maybe she is just asking for help. Is that the same thing? Maybe it is the same thing, but it made me realise that collaboration is something I really enjoy.
I am currently collaborating with The Wright Stuff and we have a rather marvellous and very exciting idea, which involves taking art and creativity into the world of business. Its such a joy to be working with someone who totally gets it and can add to what I know and what I can do. I am sure you will hear more about it as it progresses. Its early stages and we have yet to name ourselves. Naming it seems is a thing.
I digress again. Collaboration. At my last job my title was 'Principle Collaborator' which my friend thought sounded rather like something baddies did during the war. But despite that, I liked it. I like the idea of collaboration. In fact.
I think that life is about finding the right folk to collaborate with.
Anyway, I rather liked the way Amelia's post ended up. With a few questions.
OH and QUESTIONS. in general. I am really into questions at the moment. As in, How life is also all about knowing what questions to ask.
Sorry, I digress (again) . Amelia's questions, they are
Who can you go visit for inspiration?
What can you do to build your vision of expansion?
How can you ask for assistance/inspiration/guidance [and who] from?
What is your joy and are you doing it?
They are good questions.
Friday, 1 August 2014
the wildlings
the wildlings are a bringing art back to life
from pocket sized to larger than life
at home
in schools
in the community
in businesses
in cities
all over the world
get immersed
get started
make your mark
your story matters
art is you is life is joy is wild free connected real human needed
from pocket sized to larger than life
at home
in schools
in the community
in businesses
in cities
all over the world
get immersed
get started
make your mark
your story matters
art is you is life is joy is wild free connected real human needed
The Flipside (The Story of Potter)
I just wrote a whole piece on fear and rejection and a nasty niggly feeling that mixes up these two for me. And was too afraid to publish it. I was too afraid.
I felt it made me too vulnerable (just learnt how to spell vulnerable too)
Then I read this piece.
And I guess I need to name my niggly feeling. and I need to carry on regardless of it.
Its stepping out into the arena. I need to keep going.
An attempt to describe and name it
There is the niggly icky sticky tape feeling that amounts to a mix of shame, anger, humiliation (is humiliation a mix of shame and anger?) of not being seen. A passive being labelled as not good enough. a fury so useless that no one but me feels it or cares that it exists. The feeling of not being picked, being the unwanted. of being below ridicule. etc etc etc. blah blah blah.
Its not very nice. It descends when particular events match a particular story that has been in my life for a very long time. I have added to it over the years. There are several incidences I can pin point. I have been feeling it over the last month, off and on. I fight it, but its there. I don't like it.
Someone told me today that the world is mostly much kinder than we imagine it is. And for the most part I am able to know this.
They also told me that there is the situation, and how we feel about the situation. And its the latter that is the place where the hurt happens.
This niggly precipice teetering feeling, is my weak spot, my open wound place. It seems to bubble up some proper OLD stories. A memory of hurts all piled on top of each other to create a narrative that resonates at a particular frequency.
I am seeing it for what it is. It is not going to rule. It is not the total truth. And I am carrying on, holding my head up with dignity, despite it.
I am not the only human to feel this, and feelings like this must not stop me. I will feel it and carry on anyway.
I wonder what name I should give it? I am going to call it Potter. I know what that means. And its from a very long time ago. And this name makes it smaller and less relevent. I shall put it on a postcard sized piece of paper. Like maybe a really small piece of art and shrink it to that size. The story of Potter. Potter is just a story. A postcard folded up and in my back pocket.
I felt it made me too vulnerable (just learnt how to spell vulnerable too)
Then I read this piece.
And I guess I need to name my niggly feeling. and I need to carry on regardless of it.
Its stepping out into the arena. I need to keep going.
An attempt to describe and name it
There is the niggly icky sticky tape feeling that amounts to a mix of shame, anger, humiliation (is humiliation a mix of shame and anger?) of not being seen. A passive being labelled as not good enough. a fury so useless that no one but me feels it or cares that it exists. The feeling of not being picked, being the unwanted. of being below ridicule. etc etc etc. blah blah blah.
Its not very nice. It descends when particular events match a particular story that has been in my life for a very long time. I have added to it over the years. There are several incidences I can pin point. I have been feeling it over the last month, off and on. I fight it, but its there. I don't like it.
Someone told me today that the world is mostly much kinder than we imagine it is. And for the most part I am able to know this.
They also told me that there is the situation, and how we feel about the situation. And its the latter that is the place where the hurt happens.
This niggly precipice teetering feeling, is my weak spot, my open wound place. It seems to bubble up some proper OLD stories. A memory of hurts all piled on top of each other to create a narrative that resonates at a particular frequency.
I am seeing it for what it is. It is not going to rule. It is not the total truth. And I am carrying on, holding my head up with dignity, despite it.
I am not the only human to feel this, and feelings like this must not stop me. I will feel it and carry on anyway.
I wonder what name I should give it? I am going to call it Potter. I know what that means. And its from a very long time ago. And this name makes it smaller and less relevent. I shall put it on a postcard sized piece of paper. Like maybe a really small piece of art and shrink it to that size. The story of Potter. Potter is just a story. A postcard folded up and in my back pocket.
Wednesday, 30 July 2014
joy
sharing the joy of spontaneous self expression
which pretty much sums up. a lot for me.
I am thinking thinking thinking so much at the moment. things are shifting in all sorts of really interesting and good directions. I am wondering if some things I thought i wanted a lot are going to actually go sideways or off to the backburner to fizzle out and not be as important as I thought they were, because other things are going to bubble up and become centre stage
I while a go I wrote a on a card, which is stuck up on the wall in front of me right now,
I commit to being an artist
at the moment, this is the calling that is coming through more and more. Its a pretty broad category to be honest, and has all sorts of spin offs, but its the activity that I am loving most at the moment, and I have this feeling that...... it could work.
And I am a teacher. Not in a school, but that I feel this, urge to - share the joy of the doing of the thing. And the thing is - spontanious self expression, creative expression. or art.
So maybe I am an art teacher. But in the same way I am a yoga teacher and I practice yoga, I am an artist and I practice art.
I have all these little notes on the wall in front of me actually. Another one which is really strong is
'provide pure magical energy and connection between souls' which I also feel strongly. Its bringing people together to share something. Something real, that is recognised as human and important
I have this thing at the moment about human needs. And art, and self epression is a human need, as is connection with others. And feasting, hosting, breaking bread together.
And I have another hurried little note, on a post it. Which says "waiting to implement changes makes you already one step behind; DO IT NOW"
And that bit. Makes me think of the changes I have been thinking of making and how, i need to do them now.
So, randomly, from that, I am going to give up sugar. I may even do that very Brighton thing of giving up wheat too, but then I may just cut down on that. I am also considering being a vegetarian. I definitely want to do more exercise (it always slips) and I want to paint more. Do it now people, do it now, whatever it is.
which pretty much sums up. a lot for me.
I am thinking thinking thinking so much at the moment. things are shifting in all sorts of really interesting and good directions. I am wondering if some things I thought i wanted a lot are going to actually go sideways or off to the backburner to fizzle out and not be as important as I thought they were, because other things are going to bubble up and become centre stage
I while a go I wrote a on a card, which is stuck up on the wall in front of me right now,
I commit to being an artist
at the moment, this is the calling that is coming through more and more. Its a pretty broad category to be honest, and has all sorts of spin offs, but its the activity that I am loving most at the moment, and I have this feeling that...... it could work.
And I am a teacher. Not in a school, but that I feel this, urge to - share the joy of the doing of the thing. And the thing is - spontanious self expression, creative expression. or art.
So maybe I am an art teacher. But in the same way I am a yoga teacher and I practice yoga, I am an artist and I practice art.
I have all these little notes on the wall in front of me actually. Another one which is really strong is
'provide pure magical energy and connection between souls' which I also feel strongly. Its bringing people together to share something. Something real, that is recognised as human and important
I have this thing at the moment about human needs. And art, and self epression is a human need, as is connection with others. And feasting, hosting, breaking bread together.
And I have another hurried little note, on a post it. Which says "waiting to implement changes makes you already one step behind; DO IT NOW"
And that bit. Makes me think of the changes I have been thinking of making and how, i need to do them now.
So, randomly, from that, I am going to give up sugar. I may even do that very Brighton thing of giving up wheat too, but then I may just cut down on that. I am also considering being a vegetarian. I definitely want to do more exercise (it always slips) and I want to paint more. Do it now people, do it now, whatever it is.
Monday, 28 July 2014
feeling really inspired
YAY. I love feeling inspired. I have lots of things I want to do and create. I am starting to feel passionately about the notion of 'conveying the joy of the doing of the thing' that creative expression is a human need. I want art and making art to be joyous, exploratory, experimental, free. Just the doing of it as being enough as being important and necessary.
oh yeah, bringing creativity back. f*ck the judgemental critics, f*ck modern art, f*ck the institutions, f*ck what is expected, approved of, admired.
Just the joy of the doing of it. Fun is not a dirty word.
Personally, right now, I want to make paint out of ash and sawdust and food and plants and stuff which isn't paint just now.
I made earth paint in California. I want to make more earth paint and ash paint and stick plants all over it and write poetry.
I am having lots of ideas. I have now got more ideas on the go. I am wondering if this, multi projects all on the go at once is my natural way of working. I was totally happy with 13 canvases on the go. Maybe I just need lots of projects?
oh yeah, bringing creativity back. f*ck the judgemental critics, f*ck modern art, f*ck the institutions, f*ck what is expected, approved of, admired.
Just the joy of the doing of it. Fun is not a dirty word.
Personally, right now, I want to make paint out of ash and sawdust and food and plants and stuff which isn't paint just now.
I made earth paint in California. I want to make more earth paint and ash paint and stick plants all over it and write poetry.
I am having lots of ideas. I have now got more ideas on the go. I am wondering if this, multi projects all on the go at once is my natural way of working. I was totally happy with 13 canvases on the go. Maybe I just need lots of projects?
Friday, 25 July 2014
summer
summer summer summer summer summer summer
its hot. its going to be long.
I am taking a break from attempting to catch up with my admin. I am thinking about stuff and ambiling around on the internet watching and reading interesting things, ideas.
I feel that an area of work life I am interested in, feels occupied by others. Others that aren't that interested in me being part of it. Maybe I am wrong. no I am not wrong. I feel that. Though I may be wrong about them, these others. Perhaps it is just fear
I feel a bit left out, not wanted, slightly annoyed. I feel slightly anxious that they are cool that I am not. or........Perhaps it is just fear
Its not a terribly nice feeling. Its not like a massive thing. Its just slight. a little niggle.
AND THEN. I am thinking that maybe, this is some other, positive thing. Maybe these are not my people.
Maybe, my people are different to this. AND it will be really good to find them. And hang out there and just NOT CARE at all.
And this feels liberating. I wonder. I wonder if it is all like this. Or if this is imaginary, fearful, hopeful other stuff. hmmm. I don't know.......yet. I wonder. I feel quite excited by it all now. That niggly feeling has actually gone. They do say, fear and excitement feel the same, you know, physically. hmmmm. cool.
So, its summer. Hub has loads of work. I don't. I am therefore mainly in charge of Bub. Although next week them two are off to Belfast and I am in the house alone for 4 days. I intend to paint it. The house, make it better. It kind of needs a bit of attention. But that is just 4 days, there are 6 weeks of summer.
Summer. Its slow, hot, foot off the pedal time. Things are happening and they are good, and some of this is going to be subconsious in the background goings on that will consolidate and emerge later. Perhaps at the end of the summer, I will know more.
One thing that has happened, which is nice, is that supergroups are back on. It appears that I have 2 days in late August. I LOVE supergroups. This one is about coffee. I am very happy. And I may be able to go to the Call of The Wild Soul Art retreat as a worker. Which would be great. I am plotting with an art pal about bringing Creative Play to the workplace and that is all good exciting stuff.
fear / excitment
and an old feeling that I maybe about to unravel and solve. or face. yes
its hot. its going to be long.
I am taking a break from attempting to catch up with my admin. I am thinking about stuff and ambiling around on the internet watching and reading interesting things, ideas.
I feel that an area of work life I am interested in, feels occupied by others. Others that aren't that interested in me being part of it. Maybe I am wrong. no I am not wrong. I feel that. Though I may be wrong about them, these others. Perhaps it is just fear
I feel a bit left out, not wanted, slightly annoyed. I feel slightly anxious that they are cool that I am not. or........Perhaps it is just fear
Its not a terribly nice feeling. Its not like a massive thing. Its just slight. a little niggle.
AND THEN. I am thinking that maybe, this is some other, positive thing. Maybe these are not my people.
Maybe, my people are different to this. AND it will be really good to find them. And hang out there and just NOT CARE at all.
And this feels liberating. I wonder. I wonder if it is all like this. Or if this is imaginary, fearful, hopeful other stuff. hmmm. I don't know.......yet. I wonder. I feel quite excited by it all now. That niggly feeling has actually gone. They do say, fear and excitement feel the same, you know, physically. hmmmm. cool.
So, its summer. Hub has loads of work. I don't. I am therefore mainly in charge of Bub. Although next week them two are off to Belfast and I am in the house alone for 4 days. I intend to paint it. The house, make it better. It kind of needs a bit of attention. But that is just 4 days, there are 6 weeks of summer.
Summer. Its slow, hot, foot off the pedal time. Things are happening and they are good, and some of this is going to be subconsious in the background goings on that will consolidate and emerge later. Perhaps at the end of the summer, I will know more.
One thing that has happened, which is nice, is that supergroups are back on. It appears that I have 2 days in late August. I LOVE supergroups. This one is about coffee. I am very happy. And I may be able to go to the Call of The Wild Soul Art retreat as a worker. Which would be great. I am plotting with an art pal about bringing Creative Play to the workplace and that is all good exciting stuff.
fear / excitment
and an old feeling that I maybe about to unravel and solve. or face. yes
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